Spell Check Much?

I have just lived through the most traumatizing class ever, and now that I have my final grade it's time to air my grievances to the world (aka, 10 people who will ever read this).

The offending class was Spanish 201. What should have been my favorite class turned out to be a twice-a-week nightmare. Why? Because the professor (I'm using that term loosely) was the WORST. EVER. I will now present my best piece of evidence to support this fact. I feel no need to add more, because I think it speaks for itself (although I feel compelled to mention that all of the other teachers except one that I've had at the school have been really good, so this thankfully isn't representative of the quality of education at my school).

I had to miss class to attend a funeral. I emailed the teacher to ask what I should look over before the next class. Here is a screenshot of her response, completely unedited (and just so there is no confusion, English IS her first language):

There Goes the Neighborhood

I swear, I need to go live far, far away from other humans. I'll move into the woods and send Dan out for supplies.
Our apartment, as you may know, is located above a business, and we are the only people who live in the building. It's wonderful because it's really quite and private. We have a big yard, so it's easy to forget about the closest neighbor (unless they're blasting Eminem out of their car while having some sort of party in their yard, but let's not talk about that).
Next to us is a little motel, which I was a bit nervous about before moving in because I didn't know what it was like. Turns out it's cute, mostly old people and families stay there and have picnics in the yard. Once, when Phish was in town, it was overrun with mangy hippies (who also took over our parking lot), but that was the worst thing that's happened since we've moved in.
UNTIL NOW.
Sunday evening I walked over to Stewarts to get some english muffins, and on my way back I saw a woman in pajamas standing just outside the motel yard, in our parking lot. Something about her made me nervous, I could tell from far away that she was insane (my crazy detector got really sharp in Minneapolis). I darted into my apartment and locked the door behind me. When I went on our front porch to put my shoes away, she was directly in front of our apartment looking up at me.  Jesus. I also noticed that she was wearing headphones and singing. Loudly.
All day Monday she was outside the motel singing and carrying on in a generally insane way. Dan got his first glimpse of her as he came home from work.
Tuesday I was doing homework, and I hear screaming of obscenities coming from the direction of the motel. Of course it's our pajama clad buddy fighting with her beer-belly and wife-beater clad man friend. They went at it off and on all. day. long.
Yesterday was a repeat of Tuesday, and today was similar except there was less fighting and more dancing. Like, she was really dancing. And her man friend was just out there messing around with his cell phone.
So tonight, I'm trying to finish up some homework at like 9:30, and I hear our buddies hollerin'. They are again in front of our apartment having a fight. So we call the motel and explain the situation, and the manager promises to talk to them. Sine then, I've heard them off and on, so I'm not sure it did much good.
Hopefully, their little vacation (honeymoon?) will be over soon. Because of our tattling, we are a little nervous that they will try to break in and kill us in the night (actually, I've been worried about that since I first laid eyes on her--these people are feekin' scary)  constructed a Home Alone-esque trap of our full recycling bin in front of the door. Try to sneak in while we sleep now, crazies!

Back to School!

I have a paper due on Monday that I'm having a bit of writer's block with, so I've done the following things to avoid writing it: cleaned the living room, tried on some cute fall outfits, did dishes (that's not even my chore!), shaved my legs, put Snakes on a Plane on my Netflix queue, and let's not even get into the mindless internet browsing. And now here I am writing a blog. I swear, once I'm done with this blog, I'll finish my paper...

I've been back in class for just over a week, and while I'm really glad that it's that time of year again, I had a bit of a bumpy start. Here's a chronological rundown of what's happened so far:

Last Wednesday: I head to my first class, which is Spanish. Last year, I had the same Spanish professor and classmates (for the most part) who I really liked (for the most part) both semesters. He is not teaching the 200 level, so I had to find a new professor. So heading to my new class is quite like that first date after a divorce. I get there 10 minutes early, and wait and wait and wait, and the teacher never shows! 25 awkward minutes after the class was supposed to start, my new classmates and split. I've been stood up! On my first date since the divorce!

Next I go to my Anthropology class. It's time for class to start: no teacher. 5 minutes go by: no teacher. 10 minutes go by: no teacher. I'm wondering WTF is going on and contemplating leaving due to my earlier trauma, when the teacher strolls in 12 minutes late. No explanation or apology. She then proceeds to go over the syllabus, which stresses her super-strict attendance policy, and how if we're late, we will be asked to leave. Um, what? Throughout the entire class, she seemed to be trying to intimidate us and scare us into dropping the class. She then assigned 2 chapters plus online quizzes due before the next class and 7 articles in a packet with questions due at the beginning of the next class. It was like she was a gorilla asserting dominance and we were getting our own little primatology lesson. Disclaimer: I was sick and grouchy.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out this online math class, what with all the newfangled technology (that's probably been around forever) of connecting your graphing calculator to you computer. I think I finally figured it out. I've taken several online courses, and this teacher is by far the best online teacher I have had. In my experience, they load you up with work and send you on your own, and their only real presence is to give you a grade. This fills me with suspicion even though I always get good grades. This professor is really involved, though, and has created all kinds of documents to walk us through all the different areas on the online platform, as well as our calculators and other things. I give her two thumbs up.

Monday I go back to my Spanish class, wondering if we have a teacher since she didn't contact us after not showing up. It turns out we do, and she didn't know she had the class until Saturday. I guess that's a pretty good reason not to show up. Consequently, she is completely unprepared. We spend the class doing review of really basic Spanish that, let's be honest, anyone in this level of Spanish couldn't possibly NOT know. I don't like her. I chalk it up to her being unprepared and hope for the best.

Next I go to my Literature class called Minority Voices. A kid who is in my Spanish class is also in this class, and we sit together. I try to get him to trash talk our Spanish teacher with me, alas, he is far too diplomatic. Once class starts, it becomes clear that this will be my favorite class. I like English classes in general, but I am happy to find out that the professor is hilarious, and the material is really interesting (one short story we are reading for our first assignment is a David Sedaris story!). At the end of our break he asks if we're done sexting yet, and continues to cracks these sorts of jokes throughout the night.

Wednesday I go to Spanish yet again, and the teacher shows up dressed like a hooker. Seriously, she was wearing the shortest skirt and these patterned tights, and the main thing I was thinking of throughout the class was whether or not she was going to flash her hoo-ha every time she sat down. I was like, do you think you're at a bar right now? Despite giving it my most optimistic shot, I just don't like this professor. I'm not sure why.  I hope that as the semester goes on, I grow to like her more because it would be really depressing to not like the only class related to my major.

Anthropology class number two brings all kinds of hope. The professor had relaxed a lot, and it turns out is actually quite likable. Even though she gave us tons of homework, she did a really great lecture on the material, so I forgive her. Plus, a little while into class, I realized a friend of mine who I used to work with at Borders is in the class, which is exciting.

So, so far 3 of my 4 professors are awesome, my schedule is awesome, and this is shaping up to be a really great semester. Yay!

Travers Weekend Wrap-Up

I feel it's important to mention that while I may have moved to Saratoga Springs in 2005, I have never once set foot inside the track and have absolutely no idea what goes on in there. You may or may not know that this humble town in which I live is a tourist destination, that for six weeks a year, assholes flock here like moths to a flame for the horse racing. All I know is that for those six weeks, driving is like a obstacle course, parking is non-existant, and I'm going to have to work my ass off to sling espresso and bagel sandwiches for these grumpy, fussy old people while I count down the days until my semester starts again (today: 10). AND if I want to go to a bar, I'm surrounded by the same old people having a good time, which means making out, and who wants to watch old people make out? Not this girl!

Yesterday was the dreaded Travers Day, which I have gathered is actually one race worth like a million dollars or something. It's the biggest day of the season, making this potentially the WORST WEEKEND EVER. Suprisingly, I survived, and that wasn't the only surprise of the weekend!

SURPRISE #1: I'm not dead.
Okay, I know I'm only 25, which is pretty young, but it's become clear to me that I'm too old for this job. Getting up at 5 and moving non-stop all day weren't things that bothered me when I was 21, but I'm so damn tired at the end of the day it's ridiculous. I've been getting in bed at 8:30 every night because I just can't help it! So I was not sure if my creaky old body would hold up for this super intense weekend, but now it's over, and it did!!

SURPRISE #2: Travers Day was pretty bad, but not as bad as it could be
Yesterday I worked on the bagel bar, the joys of which I gave you a glimpse of last year. I was surprised to find out that fewer people than I expected were dick jobs! There was only one blatant dj, who said sarcastically after I called his number, "Thirty minutes for a bagel. GREAT." Um. Or you could have seen how hard I was working for that entire 30 minutes, plus hours before and after that and just said "THANK YOU." I expected his type all day long, but it really wasn't that bad!

SURPRISE #3: Sunday after Travers Day wasn't bad AT ALL!
Oh, boy. Sunday. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Sundays are THE WORST. Today I was working the line (taking orders and making drinks) and expected everyone to be suuuper crabby, but you'll never believe what happened: not a single person was mean to me! So it was more like the end of this commercial (pay attention to :31). I became convinced I was the barista equivalent of a snake charmer. Also, we were down a couple of people, which was bad news, AND my BFFL Simone moved away last week so there was nobody to give me hugs, but everyone was in good spirits, which makes all the difference.

Oh, and some horse won a bunch of money.

wedding wrap-up

It has been a long time since I've been compelled to blog, mostly because I'm constantly exhausted from work. I guess I'm too old for the coffee shop full time. School starts in 3 weeks, thank god. Pending last-minute employment for Dan somewhere far away from here (he has applied all over the US for a teaching job), I'm going to have the most awesome schedule ever next semester. Unfortunately, this half of the summer is creeping by at a snail's pace, probably due to the sudden lack of huge event rushing towards me on the horizon.
The wedding was amazing. Absolutely perfect. I mean, things went wrong, but that's to be expected. I couldn't have been happier. I have never worked so hard on something in my entire life, but it was worth it. That being said, I would never do it again, and had I known the amount of work, stress, and money involved despite my best efforts to be laid back and a "budget bride" (that's a technical wedding term. I know ALL THE WORDS), I might have eloped. I'm glad I didn't, though, because it was indescribably amazing to have so many people we love in one freekin' room. The awesomeness of that hadn't even occurred to me until I was in the middle of it.
All of the hard work paid off once everything was set up, because everything came together amazingly (with the help of our awesome wedding party, who worked their butts off the morning of the wedding). We received many compliments, which felt particularly good because most of the stuff at the wedding was diy. I basically turned into Martha Stewart, making the programs, table numbers, place cards, and designing the centerpieces, while my sister and I put together all the flowers, my mom made my veil, and I baked the cake and put it together with the help of my mom and sister. Many people suggested that I be a wedding planner, which could potentially be fun, but having been one, I don't think I want to deal with brides.
I can't believe it's over. We were engaged for almost two years, so it's really weird to not have to think about it anymore. We are still working on thank you cards, so we're not completely done with the process yet, and unfortunately I'm too tired from work to really enjoy the brief freedom that not being in school and/or having a wedding coming up has provided me. Never a dull moment!

I might be crazy

Today was a crazy wedding prep day. Friday is the big day, and while we're in good shape, there are still various things left to be done. I took advantage of Dan being away at his bachelor party to spend the day shopping, doing crafts, and baking the first half of the wedding cake.
I'm not convinced that making my own cake is completely sane, but I'm not going to pay hundreds of dollars for something that I can make for less than 50 bucks plus a few hours of work. I decided kind of last minute to do this, so I had to hope the recipe I found was tasty. Luckily, it is freeking delicious. It was a lot of work--I made it from scratch--but so worth it. I even used cake flour and sifted it (boring!), which I never bother to do. The recipe called for the egg whites and sugar to be made into meringue and mixed into the other ingredients, resulting in a sort of crusty outside and fluffy inside, reminiscent of angel food cake but a little more dense. The recipe made way more batter than it said--enough to make the whole cake and then some--but I only had one of each size pan, and I was worried about letting the batter sit while the cake baked and the pans cooled, so I now have an extra pan of cupcakes and an 8x8 pan of cake. Who's hungry??
I will make the second half of the cake later this week. I'm just hoping that between my mom, sister, and I we can decorate this bitch like I'm picturing it in my head.
I'm pretty sure I won't get any sleep tonight because besides Dan being gone (I can't sleep without him. I'm not used to being alone and I get all freaked out that someone is breaking in), my entire family is on their way here!! I'm picking up my brother, who I haven't seen in 11 years, from the train station tomorrow at noon, then my sister and her family arrive sometime tomorrow evening, and my parents will get here around 11pm. I don't think my entire family (including aunts, uncles, and cousins) has actually been together like this since...ever. Aaahhh!! I'm so excited!

BIKE!

I've wanted to get a bike for about 3 years now, but I didn't know how to buy a bike and I was intimidated by the idea of riding in the street with cars. I haven't been on a bike since I was about 14, at which point I was still allowed to ride on the sidewalk because I was just a kid.
I decided to try to find a cheap bike at a yard sale, that way if I didn't ride much I wouldn't be out much money. On Sunday, Dan and I set out in search of an awesome new bike. We spotted a couple of road bikes, but I wanted a mountain bike instead so that I wasn't committed to just riding on the road. We went to a yard sale that had advertised "BIKES!" on Craigslist, but they only had one road bike out. I mentioned to the guy that I was looking for a mountain bike and he went into his scary shed and got out this crappy bike and offered it to me for free. It needed a new seat and a chain, but it was free to I took it. I put a seat on it that very same day, and my boss put a chain on it for me (hi Greg!) and now it is the most amazing bike in the world!!! LOOK:

I've gone on 3 bike rides since Sunday, and I am so glad I got this bike. I forgot how much fun it is to ride a bike! So far I haven't had any problem with cars, although I don't trust those suckers. Soon I will ride downtown and if it's an easy ride (I think it will be; it's only 3 miles or so) I will be able to ride my bike home from work instead of having to wait for rides. Hooray! 

Sheesh, between running, playing tennis, climbing mountains, and now biking, I'm pretty much a jock by now.