Boring!

My day off was not as totally awesome as I anticipated, due to poor planning. I sat around all day reading trashy magazines and watching tv on teh interweb (at one point my internet tv browsing led me to watch "Britney Spears: For the record." I have no explanation for that.) but by 5pm I stated getting pretty antsy. My antsyness increased throughout the night, but I didn't have any ideas about what to do with myself. It sucked. I should have left the apartment for a chunk of time during the day. Then my day would have been totally awesome.
Dan is still not home, and almost didn't come home at all tonight. His parents were thinking of staying or something. I was like, um, hello, who's going to rub my back then? Sheesh. He went to visit family in NJ and spent the day in New York. I want to go to New York on Friday, but I'm not sure if he'll want to go since he just spent today there. We'll see. If I don't go to NY, I'm going to Crossgates with Tara and Tabatha to be GIRLS. Oh, and, for the record, he is coming home pretty soon, so my back will get rubbed. Don't worry.
I've eaten so many christmas (and hanukkah) cookies and candies since christmas. I've got to get back into cooking dinner every night. I think I'm going to make salmon, because it's so friggin' good for you. Having grown up in Iowa, I'm not really a fan of seafood. I mean, tuna, yes, I love tuna, I eat it straight out of the can sometimes. Pollock, (which, I should note, my family called polack as a joke my entire life, never letting me in on it. Very funny, Mom and Dad. I found out at the age of 19, when I mentioned to some guy (who afterwards claimed to be Polish) that I like polack, which made me look stupid. But later that night he showed me his dick, even though I said "No thank you!", which made HIM look stupid. Even!) it turns out, is the most hated on fish in the world, but I like it. But salmon has always been too...fishy for me. But I might try to push past that for the health benefits.
Whoa, I just got bored of myself.

This is Hanukkah

We had a Hanukkah party last night. To clarify, Dan was the only Jew there, but it was still fun. I made Matzo Ball soup and Latkes, we had Manischewitz, we even have a menorah and a dreidle!

It was mostly friends from way back, when I first moved here, which was exciting. I had too much to drink, of course, and got belligerent. Also, I cleaned up the apartment in record time this morning. It went from trashed to normal in 15 minutes. That's like some sort of super power.

Dan is out of town until tomorrow night. The apartment to myself for almost 48 hours? Score!

Hooray!

Finally I got the internet! It's been so long. I had to learn to live without it! No weatherchannel.com. No Facebook. No email. No idea how much money I had in my bank account. No google. I was like a caveman!
I couldn't figure out how to make the internet wireless. I typed in my ip address as instructed, but then was prompted for a user name and password, and I had no idea what it was. I had to call tech support. The user name was "admin" and the password was "password" and the tech support lady told me this as if I should just know that. We connected via this "Screen share" program which had her operating my computer from, well, who knows. I assumed India due to her accent but she could have been anywhere. She was all scrolling my mouse around and setting up my internets for me. It was surreal. She was explaining stuff to me and moving the mouse around to demonstrate. It was like having a ghost friend there!

I'm all ready for Christmas! I got the last things today. I just need to wrap some stuff up and that's it. Thank god. I had a lot of people to buy for this year.
I like all the snow we just got. It makes the really cold and dark weather more bearable for me. I would probably feel differently if I had to drive more.
I just checked the weather channel website and found out that it's currently 0 degrees in Minneapolis and it feels like -18 degrees. That sounds about right. I am so glad I'm not there right now.

Internets

I'm at the library because my internet stealing days are over. What was once a glorious unsecured network available all the time now requires a password. Sheesh. So I had to come here to buy the interntes for my apartment. Gross.
It's okay, I would have had to pay soon because I'm going to start school in January and I'm doing classes online. I wouldn't have been able to rely on stolen internet for that.
I got my financial aid info the other day and it turns out they're covering my entire tuition plus a few hundred extra bucks! I'm so relieved. I've been saving money, but I don't have nearly enough to pay for that. I can't wait to start. I'm going to be crazy busy with school and work, but I think it'll be good for me to be working towards something instead of just idling. I'm getting too old.
THE END.

fuck yes

Mommy's Time Out + Rice Krispies Treats cereal = Good Times

Smushy Heart

I've been really exhausted lately (I'm diagnosing it as stress, hopefully it's not actually a terminal illness) but I'm surprisingly awake right now. I haven't seen this side of midnight for a few weeks. I took a nap after work to prepare for girls night/local bridesmaid committee meeting and then had a little bit of coffee. The fun ended sooner then I thought it would, leaving me alone and squirrely in my apartment.
Tonight was really fun, it left me with warm fuzzies. Well, okay, part of the warm feeling was the tequila, but I hung out with my two bffs in Saratoga from different social circles tonight and they got along beautifully. I'm still kind of a "smushy heart" from getting engaged so this made more happy then it usually would. I made margaritas, but we had to drink them out of wine glasses because I don't have margarita glasses. Tabatha immediately dropped her glass, breaking it all over my infamous rug. I punished her by making her drink out of a plastic cup.

Tomorrow I'm going to track down some Mommy's Time Out. I had a glass of it at Virgil's last night and I can't get over how much I liked it. I'm not even ashamed.

This wedding planning thing is stressful. We both want a simple wedding, so I thought it would be easy to plan. Wrong. There are so many details to work out. I'm glad we have so much time, I would hate to have to figure all this shit out in a hurry. It's too soon to do fun stuff like register or buy a dress. I've been spending a lot of time browsing around Lilywedding. I'm such a girl.

I Love to Singa

This is hysterical. Watch the whole thing. It's worth it.

So, the trip went well...

Oh shit, I'm seriously a grownup...I'm engaged! I'm uncharacteristically, wholeheartedly excited. Who knew I would be so girly underneath all those layers of sarcasm and cynicism? I already bought a wedding planning book and started my guest list. Shit, there goes all my street cred.

My parents were less enthusiastic then I thought they would be. They seemed happy and supportive, but nobody screamed. I think this is due to the following circumstances:
1) I am the youngest in my family, and my brother and sister have collectively been married three times. This is nothing new.
2) Seeing as how I'm their youngest child, their baby, my being old enough to get married probably makes them feel old
3) I mentioned to my mom about a month ago that Dan and I were discussing marriage, so this doesn't come as a total surprise.
4) I think my mom wants me to get married in Iowa, but that's obviously not going to happen and she knows it.
My sister and brother are really excited, and Dan's family was really excited too. Eeshk! I'm like a real person.

Vermont was really nice. The B&B was amazing. Everyone was skeptical, but it was great. The room was cute, we had a little sitting area with a view of the mountains and Lake Champlain. The breakfast was amazing. We'll probably stay there again someday. The entire trip was wonderful. I would love to live in Burlington, it's a great city, but it's really expensive.

The war on mice is still going on. The death toll is now up to 5. I put a scoreboard up on the fridge: Us-5 Mice-0. The death toll is expected to rise due to all the poison that's being eaten. They may get revenge by dying inside our walls, though. We'll see.

Oh, and! My blog just got a whole lot swankier.

Kiss me, I voted

Obligatory post-election day paragraph:
I have mixed feelings about the election. I'm relieved, for sure. If McCain won, it would have been a disaster. I was pretty sure Obama would win, but then again, I was certain Bush couldn't possibly be re-elected, which taught me a lesson about over estimating my fellow Americans.
That being said, I'm not excited about Obama. I mean, we'll see what happens. I was really excited Dennis Kucinich for the 3o seconds he was running. I also knew he wouldn't be president, but a girl can dream.

In other news, we have mice again. It's like we're cursed. Long story short, we've caught 3 mice in traps inside our stove (ew) and we discovered a mouse living under the fridge. We left it (them, probably) a little poison treat after they refused to go into traps, and they are eating it up. Stupid mice. We've had 2 mice die from eating poison in the middle of living rooms, so I'm expecting the corpses to turn up any time. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it won't die in the walls or whatevs, which is what you always hear in conjunction with using poison.

This weekend Dan and I are celebrating our 2 year anniversary at a B&B in Vermont. Our actual anniversary was October 27, but we had to wait for foliage season to be over so we could afford it. It's going to be really nice. I'm even going to get all gussied up for dinner, if you can believe that. I can't wait to go!

Doggy

My poor little dog, Chewy, got put to sleep a few weeks ago. I mean, he was 14 and all elderly and stuff, so it wasn't a surprise. He couldn't hear or jump up onto the couch or do pretty much anything anymore. Bor-ing. Last Christmas I took this picture knowing it was probably going to be the last picture ever taken with Chewy:

I found out when I called my sister 4 days after it happened. She broke the news to me gently by saying, "Did you know Chewy's dead?" Thanks, Michelle!

All joking aside, I'm going to miss that dog. This is one of the reasons why I never want a dog. It's too sad when they die.

I don't want to grow up, I just want to watch TV

The reason I haven't blogged in weeks: Surf The Channel

Jones clued me in, and because I haven't had cable in at least four years, I can't stop watching TV. I think I have a problem.

I did manage to do something active in the three dimensional world on Thursday. We went back down to New Paltz to hike at Minnewaska State Park. It's beautiful there. It was a good hike, a lot of overlooks and things. A lot of uphill, I was sore the next day. The weather was perfect, sunny but a little chilly. The leaves are just starting to change. Fall is my favorite time of year. I think a lot of people say that, though.

I was thrilled on Friday when it was dreary and cold. I bought a pumpkin spice candle and hot chocolate to round out my fall experience. It was just a teaser, though, today was gross.

I'm having a bit of an existential crisis. I'm gearing up for moving into the next stage of my life (going to college) but once I start, the just-hanging-out phase of my life will be over. It's bound to snowball: college, then marriage, then babies! I mean, don't get me wrong, these are all things I want, and things I want before the age of 30, but I wish my mid-twenties weren't coming so fast. A quick scan of my facebook friends from high school shows that I am, in fact, old enough to be married and have kids. When did I become a grown-up? Gross.

Could be worse. I could be turning 28 in December like someone I know.

Is it Thursday yet?

Thursday is Girls Night Out and I can't wait. Work was rough last week, and this week is shaping up to be the same as everyone is getting worn out. Knowing I am going to get ridiculously inebriated with my equally worn-out friends is the only thing getting me through.

I don't know if I mentioned this before, but we got a bed. A real big-kid bed with a frame and everything. After 3 months of sleeping on an air mattress, this is very exciting. And it's brand new. Unfortunately, new bed + reserving a b&b for our anniversary = Lindsay is pretty broke. BUT! I worked overtime last week, so soon I'll be rich again.

Yesterday we went to Thatcher State Park in Voorheesville (near Albany). It was really nice. You're up on a mountain or something and there's a cliff overlook where you look down into a valley. Then there's a trail called "Indian's Ladder" where you climb down 3 million stairs and then can walk behind a waterfall. It was really cool, although the waterfall is weak this time of year, a mere trickle. Apparently if you go in the spring it's much better. Due to a lack of communication (i.e. Dan only pretending to listen to me before answering my question) I was under the impressing the trail was easy and therefore didn't bring any real shoes, which was not true. So we couldn't go very far on the trail but I imagine if you walk the whole thing it's really nice.

Homemade Baby, $60 OBO

Dan is finally going to the doctor for his pinkeye (which he has had for over a week now) and apparently it only costs $60 for the appointment. I remarked "$60? That's all? I thought you had to give up your firstborn child to go to the doctor. I guess our first baby will be worth $60." and Dan replied "If that." lolzzz. Then we discussed going into the baby selling business. If we have it in the bathroom there's no production costs! Fucking genius.
I just took a long nap, which I needed. I really wasn't functioning today at work. I think Sunday was the busiest day I've ever seen. During my nap, I dreamt I had to run to the basement to find strawberry jelly for an order, and it took me forever to get down there and then I couldn't find any anywhere. I really hate dreaming about work. Before I moved, I used to dream about work almost every night. Very vivid, almost lucid dreams where I was helping the line but I was aware that I was supposed to be sleeping. It was pretty much like I was working all night. Except I didn't make any tips.
Tomorrow is my day off, we're going to go our original road trip of Bennington and Manchester. This is perhaps the first road trip we ever took together back in the day (with the exception of NYC) and it remains my favorite. We've done it twice now, and both times it was really nice.
On Wednesday, Trampatha and I are going on a "Sober Adventure" after work, meaning we've never really hung out sober. We're always at a bar/drunk sitting on a sidewalk somewhere. But we're both working 6 days this week and still want to have girls night, so I guess that means we have to do it sober. We discussed starting a secret affair today, where we tell our BF's we're "running errands" or "grocery shopping" but actually having girls night.
OK, I'm officially hungry and need to figure out where to go on a date tonight.

I'm having a rough week.

I have hurt myself more this week then I have in the past several months combined.

First, I cut myself at work while making bagel sandwiches. It happens sometimes (more often to me now than before I moved away for some reason) and usually you can just throw a band-aid on it and keep going. But this time I was bleeding. A lot. I mean, it wasn't stitch-worthy, but it's definitely one of my more severe cuts. Probably the second worst since I've been there. It was okay once I got a few band-aids on it.

Next, I was making soup from a new recipe the other night. Sweet potato soup. Yummy. The recipe called for one fresh jalapeno, de-seeded. No problem, I thought. I cut it open and scraped the seeds out with my thumb. I then washed my hands a few times in a row to make sure I got all the jalapeno juice off of them. Awhile later, my soup is simmering on the stove and I'm trolling around the interweb, and I touch my face. It feels kind of burny. I wondered if it was from the jalapenos, but thought I was being silly.

Fast-forward a few hours, dinner is eaten (delicious, by the way) and we're getting ready to go to Target. I had taken my contacts out after work, and went to the bathroom to put them back in. That's when I learned the life lesson that you're supposed to wear gloves when you de-seed jalapenos. Apparently the oils get into your skin and soap and water do nothing to get them off. It takes days. And jalapeno in your eye doesn't feel good. I've had to wear gloves to put my contacts in for the past few days. It's a pain in the ass.

As if those two things weren't enough, yesterday I was bageling again and a stupid bagel got stuck in the back of the stupid toaster so I reached in to pull it out (as I often do) but this time I wasn't careful enough and I touched the inside of the toaster with my arm. I was in denial about how bad the burn was at first, but it's pretty gross. Thankfully it doesn't really hurt anymore (unless I bump it on something) but it's just nasty to look at. And I'm pretty sure it's going to leave a scar.

Thankfully I have today off, Travers Saturday. I'm a bit hungover and trying my hardest to hide inside all day. Next week I agreed to work 6 days which won't be too bad, I don't think. I have Tuesday off and then the following Monday off, so I'm only actually working 5 days in a row without a break. Plus I'll get over 8 hours of overtime, and an extra day of tips. We just bought a bed so the extra money will be good.

For our road trip on Tuesday, we're going to Manchester to shop for clothes, which is one of the few girly things I actually like doing. Fall is my favorite season, I love sweaters and stuff, so I'm really excited to go.

Okay, time to find something to read.

What the fuck is that mountain doing there?

We had road trip Tuesday: Monday edition today. We went up to Ausable Chasm in the Adirondacks, and then to Lake Placid. I've never been that far north in New York before, it's like 30 miles from Canada or something. It was beautiful up there, the mountains were very impressive. I think they're bigger than the Green Mountains in Vermont, (update: they are) but I don't know for sure. While I've never been out west, I'm aware that the Rocky Mountains are far more impressive, but having grown up in Iowa, the mountains out here never fail to amaze me. I didn't appreciate the landscape the first time I lived here, and I really missed it while we were in Minneapolis. This time around we're taking full advantage of how nice this area of the country is.


We were thinking about going to Howe Caverns, but decided they were too lame. Actually, we still might go someday. I've never been in a cave before. But Dan's dad suggested Ausable Chasm and I'm glad he did. While it was kind of crowded (there's one main trail that splits off into two halfway through) and there were tons of kids there (Me: "I fucking hate children." Dan: "This oughtta be a fun day.") it was really very cool. They call it the "Grand Canyon Of the East" and I guess that's fair to say. The best view on the hike:
After the hike we drove to Lake Placid because it wasn't that far away, although we took the wrong highway so it took much longer to get there (my bad). It was okay, a little kitschy for my taste, and in my opinion they need to let the whole "The Olympics were here in 1980" thing go. They've been riding that fame wave long enough. We did find a great deli for lunch and then had some ice cream next to Mirror Lake. Then I got crabby, which is how we know the road trip needs to end. It happens every time.
On the way home, we found this frightening taxidermy place ("shop?") with some real, stuffed black bears, a moose, and the pièce de résistance, a lion eating a giraffe. Where the fuck they got a lion and a giraffe is beyond me. Ebay? I couldn't resist having my picture taken with a black bear (as I'm a bit obsessed with bears in general) but I had to get out of there stat because the whole thing was super creepy. I put the picture up on facebook for anyone who is interested.

The only thing missing from our day was a giant crocodile:

No Pictures

About a month ago a woman from some Saratoga magazine (Saratoga Today?) was taking photos of UG. I'm not sure of what exactly, a bagel probably, the outside of the building, etc. But then she started taking pictures of us, without permission. We didn't like it (I mean, come on. We're working-we're all sweaty and disheveled. Who wants that out in the world?), and asked her to stop. I believe her exact response was "There's nothing you can do about it."
I'm not sure about privacy laws-I know you can take someones picture on the street, but I feel like in a privately owned business you should not be able to to take photos-especially of employees-without their permission. Especially for use in a magazine. I also think that it's basic courtesy to ask permission before taking pictures of strangers.
So anyway, the woman proceeded to take a few more pictures of us, even after we asked her to stop, but we were glaring at her and she quickly skedaddled. But it happened again today!
Some random guy (a tourist probably-he was with his family, screaming baby and all) was standing at the end of the bar snapping pictures of us while we worked. Corey told him he had to stop, but he didn't. Until we all started making a scene. Charlie declared that we should call the guy "Pervert" and started yelling "Hey, pervert, stop taking our picture!" Meanwhile, the guy was waiting for his food. He appeared to be really uncomfortable, so I made sure to give him furious eyes as much as I could while still bageling quickly.
The thing is, what would he possibly do with pictures of us working? Like, frame them and hang them on his living room wall? I doubt it. Probably he was just some middle-aged schmuck trying to be artsy. Fucking asshole.
Someone threw the idea out there that we should go take pictures of him eating lunch. Nobody wanted to risk their job, although it would almost have been worth it.
Is racing season over yet?

What am I, a grown-up or something?

My 2 year anniversary is coming up in October, and we booked a room at a B&B in Vermont for it. That seems incredibly adult to me for some reason. I struggle with the fact that I'm a "grown-up" sometimes. I have this theory that once you cross the threshold into grown-updom there's no going back, so I'm resiting with all my might. That's not to say I'm not actually a grown up (I work and pay bills and grocery shop and all that other adulty stuff) I'm just in denial.
I'm excited about going to the B&B. It's going to be really nice. We have to go 2 weeks after our actual anniversary because during foliage season you have to book rooms for two nights and be really rich and stuff. Which is stupid. But whatever.



Last night was Girls Night Out. I got really drunk off two drinks before 10pm somehow and remained ridiculously intoxicated until I went to bed at 1am or something. I wasn't planning on getting that wasted, though. Tabatha announced that the three of us (Jones, Tab, and Me) make a good trio (although she was drunk so I think she actually said "threeo"): Jones is the Chic one, Tabatha is the slut, and I'm the badass. That's pretty true. At one point I told some middle aged guy who was hitting on Tabatha (SLUT!) that she was my girlfriend, and anyway he was way too old to be hitting on her (BADASS!). What is it with these middle aged men tourists that make them thing 20-something girls want to sleep with them? I'm thinking temporary alcoholism is the only way I'm going to deal with the tourists for the rest of the summer. It seems like a good strategy.

I heart the onion

Samsonite Releases New Roller Wallet

This is one of my favoriet Onion news clips. It cracks me up every time. I spent an obscene amount of time on their website last night watching video clips and reading my favoriet articles. I miss the free Onion. Why do they make you pay for it here? LAME!

My favorite Onion news story of all time:

Kraft Doubles

My favorite Onion video clip of all time:

I dreamed your baby

This is kind of old news, but I was just thinking about it. A few weeks ago, I had a vivid dream that I was pregnant with twins. At this point, the details of the dream are hazy, but I remember being scared but wanting to keep 'em. Also Dan was excited in the dream.
The dream was so real that I woke up thinking I was preggers. I told Dan about the dream and all he had to say was "Yikes." Yikes is right, sucker. I felt creeped out all morning, and ended up talking about the dream at work. A girl I work with jumped into the conversation because she thought she might be pregnant, and she is the only person in her family not to have twins yet, so there was a chance it was twinsies. She hadn't talked about the possible pregnancy before that moment, so it was weird. I told her I hoped it was her and not me.
Last week the pregnancy was confirmed, although not the twins part yet. So this means a couple of things: 1) I'm definitely psychic 2) I'm definitely not pregnant 3) I definitely dreamed her babies.

I've been really tired this weekend. I can't wait for racing season to be over. I'm too grumpy to deal with customers level of neediness. "I want my cappuccino moderately dry (what does that even mean? "Moderately."). Give me a grande triple skinny mochaccino (what does that even mean?) Give me a blueberry bagel. Is this my bagel? Can you make sure number 76 is toasted well but not burned? Can you suck my balls while you make my sandwich?" The one thing that made my life worth living today was when Bob and Charlie kissed on the lips per my request. It was incredible.

Crabby

You'd think with all the excitement I experienced over finding a blog name I'd actually want to blog. Whatever, I'm busy.

So I had an altercation with a mattress salesman at Mega Mattress in Wilton last night. We went to get an idea of prices. Of course there was this typical slimy Italian bro trying to sell us this mattress right then. I mean, we were clear that we didn't want to buy a mattress at that time, but he would not shut up.
He knocked $200 off the price, claiming something about being one sale away from a trip to Hawaii or something. We kept going back and forth, us saying we weren't buying anything right then, him being cocky and insisting we were stupid not to buy it. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and told him sassily trip to Hawaii or not, and we didn't want to buy a mattress tonight. Then he was like "You're walking away from the deal of a lifetime here." I swear, that's a direct quote. Dan was quickly ushering me to the door, recognizing my rage and understanding the things that might come out of my mouth. So all I got to say on the way out the door was "The deal of a lifetime? On a mattress? Wooooow." Then the guy angrily yelled something like "$798 if you ever come back!" When we were already outside. As soon as we got in the car Dan pointed out that now we can never go back there. But that's fine with me, that guy was a moron.

Dan and I got Tuesdays off together, and we've been going on road trips the past couple of weeks. It's great to get the hell away from the tourists here once a week. Last Tuesday we went to New Paltz, because that's where Dan went to grad school and I've only been there once briefly on our way back from the city.

First we went to Minnewaska State Park Preserve which is right outside New Paltz. It's up on a mountain, and it was perhaps the first mountain I've actually been on in my life. I mean, I can't say for sure I've never driven on a mountain in Vermont or something, but to my knowledge I haven't. You drive up this steep windy road to get the the park, and then when you enter the park the road is way more steep. Dan was terrified.

It was really beautiful. I forgot to bring sneakers, so we couldn't hike too much. Also, I did a lot of bear research a month ago and I was kind of scared that we would run into one. Especially because the higher we got, the more dense the trees got and there were no other people anywhere. I would like to make a day of it sometime, though, fear of bears or not. There is a waterfall there somewhere, and miles and miles of trails. Here's a picture of Minnewaska Lake:

Whoa

I just discovered that everyone and their mom has a friggin' blog. I got mad jealous so here I am. I had a hard time thinking of a URL, and despite Nate's insistance that I include the word "cunt," I quite like the word "schtick."
It came about when I was whining about a girl at work who I thought was Jewish, but who is actually only dating a Jew. I was all "Wait. Shiksa girlfriend? That's my schtick!" See? Interesting.
I'm all sick today. Some sort of ferocious cold. It's lame. I had to work, which was pretty miserable, especially because almost every customer was hateable. Or as Jones put it, "What's with this asshole parade?"
I'm never sick, and I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself. Thankfully Dan is really sympathetic and just wants to take care of me when I'm sick. I, on the other hand, am the least sympathetic person I know. He went to the store and got me all kinds of crap to make me feel better. I probably would have done the same for him, only I would have done it begrudgingly. He's a lucky guy!
Meanwhile, who gets sick in the summer?
Thankfully I have tomorrow off. I don't know what I'm going to do. Probably mope around. I'm hoping I feel better in the morning. I would like to go to the library. I'm having a hard time getting into any books I have. I have tons of great books that I really want to read, but I can't just pick one. I got a book from the library last week that looked funny, a satrical novel about self-help books. It was suposed to be witty and sarcastic, but the writing was terrible. I couldn't even get in to it. It was just stupid. I would like to read something light but intelligent and I'm having a hard time finding something.