what I did over winter break part 1

I have adapted well to winter break. I took this week off because I have been pushing myself all semester, especially in this last month, and the idea of jumping into full-time work until my Iowa trip had me stringing up my noose. I wasn't sure what I was going to do the whole time, but so far, it's been awesome. I've been catching up on all the sleep I've been lost; my insomnia seems to be going away. Dan and I have spent more time apart than together since September-my classes are at night, he's working all day-and we are just enjoying spending time together. Lots of walks, Yahtzee, movies, and YouTube karaoke.

I've also been reading like crazy. I've always been a big reader, I can't remember a time in my life that I haven't been reading a book. As soon as I finish one, I start another. I don't know how old I was when I learned to read, but I imagine that's the age that I started reading like this.

Anyway, I've been having a hard time focusing on reading with all my school work--it's hard to stop thinking about the papers I have to write, the research I have to do, and so forth long enough to get into a novel. I've been reading a lot of essays: David Sedaris, Laurie Notaro, that dumb girl Sloan Crosley who sucks, etc. because it's easier to swallow little stories. But now that I'm free, I'm really excited to read as much as humanly possible. Right now, I'm almost finished with ¡Yo! by Julia Alvarez, next I'm reading Ceremony by Leslie Marmon Silko. Hopefully, when I finish that, the 5 books I ordered from Amazon will be here. Eeee!

I can't wait to get my grades back. I think they're due on the 4th, so I should know if I got that 4.0 or not in a week or so!

Done!

One year down, 3 to go. I just finished my last final tonight, and am now preparing for my holiday party tomorrow. Pumpkin cookies are in the oven :). I don't feel nearly as relaxed as I should, because my Public Speaking grade is hovering around the A/A- line, and I WANT A 4.0. God damn it. She shorted me half a point on my portfolio for some reason (5 assignments, each worth 3 points, total grade: 14.5. WTF?) which I emailed her about, but really my grade hangs on what I got on my final speech tonight. She said she's usually lenient and gives everyone a 10/10 as long as they participate, which I did, but if my calculations are correct, a 9 would push me into the A- range. I should stop being such an insane perfectionist. It would free up a lot of time.

I am not sure what to do with myself now. I've been on full speed all semester. I don't think I took a single day off where I laid on the couch by myself all day, and although this break is much needed, I feel a bit anxious about it. This week is nuts, but next week I'm only working Sunday. It's going to be beautiful. Oh, I could plan my wedding.

I slept for, like, 5 hours last night which is a record. I plan on sleeping until noon tomorrow.

3 weeks from now I'll be in Iowa!! I can't wait to visit my family!

A brief history of my insomnia, because I can't sleep

SO CRABBY.

If you are my friend on facebook, the update you are most likely to see on a daily basis is "Lindsay can't sleep. Again." I have been in denial for a couple of months that my insomnia has gotten out of control, but I guess it has. I have had trouble sleeping as long as I can remember. People who can fall asleep in less than 5 minutes amaze me. How the f do they do that? Even when I was a kid, I was always the last one to go to sleep at sleepovers and I would lay awake on school nights watching the clock.

It got much worse in high school, and I started taking sleep medication. That sucked because I would have such a hangover in the morning. After high school, I stopped taking the meds, and eventually got to a place where I could sleep most nights. I was in that happy place until right around the time school started, and now everything has unravelled.

Most of my sleeping occurs between the hours of 7am and noon, and always on the couch. I generally get into bed around midnight, and then I generally come back to the couch around one. Eventually I get in bed and sleep restlessly. It sucks. Today I worked on about 3 hours of sleep. No fun.

Consequently, I'm always tired. I'm not sure what to do about it. None of my old tricks that would help on those few nights I'd lay awake work anymore (singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall in my head was a favorite). I'm tempted to take medication, but won't because I have such horrible memories of the groggy feeling in the morning. Also, I don't want to be dependent on meds in order to carry out a basic bodily function. So I guess I'll just ride this insomnia wave a little further and see where it takes me. I keep hoping it will go away on it's own. Hmpf.

Local hero donates hair, studies for finals

Everyone knows this by now, but I'm not ready to stop talking about it. I got the world's most awesome haircut on Tuesday. I went to Ovation Salon on Geyser Road, and Krissy did an amazing job. I got about 9 inches cut off, and donated 8 of 'em to wigs for kids, which is a pretty easy way to feel good about yourself.

Last weekend I scored a surprise Sunday off and Dan and I headed to the city. It was a last minute decision, which is always more fun. I'd been studying my head off for finals, and when Dan suggested we go to New York, I was like, "Yes please!" knowing that, otherwise, I would not take a much needed break. We had a lot of fun. Friday night we drove to Poughkeepsie and stayed in a hotel, and then took the train to the city on Saturday. We didn't do much there, aside from walking and walking, which is what we like to do when we go there. We're such total dorks that we immediately use the "map my run" website when we get home to see how many miles we walked. This time, 9. There were a ton of drunken Santas, and some of them hugged me. I did not like it. We thought about going Rockefeller to Center to see the tree, but aborted the mission when we got nearby and were suddenly swept up in this herd of people who were pushing everyone they could reach (because that is obviously going to make people walk faster). I yelled "ABORT! ABORT! Meet me over there!"pointed across the street, and shoved everyone out of my way and got the hell out of there.

And since we got home, I've been studying. Except when I got my hair cut/was showing off my haircut. I'm writing this blog now because I just had to stop studying for my western civ test for awhile. I can't wait until Tuesday night at 7pm, when finals are over.

I haz a ghost?

To expand on my facebook update from 3am, something weird happened here last night. I got into bed around 12, and drifted off into a blissful sleep until Dan and I were awoken by a huge crash. I thought someone was smashing our back-door window to rob/kill us, Dan thought there was already someone in here who had dropped/ran into something. I don't really know what to do in the event that an intruder breaks into my apartment, so we went out of the bedroom to, I don't know, confront the criminal. Upon leaving the bedroom, I saw that there was a plate that had fallen off the counter and smashed everywhere. So that was the source of the noise. I quickly checked both doors, which were still chain-locked, and then checked both closets, which were intruder-free. We couldn't figure out how the plate had gotten from the counter to the floor, and went back to bed, both still in a state of panic. I had to get up a little while later to make sure there really wasn't anyone in here, because my number one fear (that I've had as long as I can remember, since I was a little kid) was that someone would break into my home.

I also got my iPod, as it was clear I wasn't going back to sleep any time soon, and in the dark I noticed something suspicious on the floor. I looked a little closer and realized they were stupid mouse droppings. Welcome to my second worse fear: mice.

But this explained how the plate broke, a stupid mouse must have knocked it off the counter. Great.

This morning, I was cleaning up the kitchen, and foun

d a suspicious lack of droppings anywhere. Hmm. That's weird, I thought. How could that dumb mouse have run all over the kitchen and not left a single poopy? I went back to the living room to sweep up the other poopies I found last night, and in the bright light of they day, realized they are only sweatshirt fuzzies! That really do look like mouse droppings, but aren't

So THANK GOD we don't have mice. Yet. This blog is jinxing me, I'm sure of it, and we will find our first mouse tonight. Thankfully, I stocked up on poison before I realized it was a false alarm, so I'm prepared.

But anyway, we're back to wondering how that plate fell off the counter in the middle of the night. I guess we have a ghost that got angry. Whatever, anything is better than intruders or mice.

I should pay rent

Holy crap, how the bleep is it December already? It's the 3rd, but I'm in denial, so I haven't paid rent yet. Whoops. My semester is almost over, which I am dreading because it means that I will have to work more (in theory, if there are hours for me) for a couple of weeks, and then I'll have to start my idiot schedule next semester that I'm going to hate. Thankfully, in between those two things, I am going to visit my family in Iowa for 8 days. I am so excited!!

I am working my ass off for all A's this semester. I easily have A's in Spanish, Health, and Western Civ (unless I bomb the last Western Civ test or my health final, but I'm not worried). The only toss-up is public speaking. I'm either going to get an A or a B+, but goddamn it I want an A! Right now, I have a 90 if I just tally up my speeches, but I've gotten 100% on all of the written assignments I've turned in, so I have a good shot. There is one more speech, so if I kick ass on that, I'm going to get an A.

Next semester is my third, which means I need to get my shit together and figure out where I want to transfer to pretty soon. It mostly depends on where Dan finds a teaching job. He's going to apply all over NY state and probably in Massastupids and Vermont as well, so I can't get too attached to any school because I have no clue where we'll be living. There's a chance that Dan will get a job around here, which would be nice, but a change of scenery would also be nice. I have a fantasy that we move somewhere less expensive and we can rent a little house. Sigh.

Okay, time to get back to work. This Western Civ paper that's due Monday isn't going to edit itself!

crisis

I'm grappling with my age a lot these days. It's been going on for about a year and a half, actually. Quarter-life crisis, perhaps? I just can't believe that in less than 6 months, I'll be 25. I know, I know, 25 isn't old when you're 50. But in my head, I'm still 8, so 25 seems old.

Sunday night I had Tara and Eve over for dinner, and I was telling Eve some stories of my wilder days. I never did anything too crazy, but I did find myself in some bizarre situations. I feel like I've aged much more than 2 or 3 years in the past 2 or 3 years. I grew up against my will.

It's good, I've got my shit together. It feels good to have a little road-map of your life for the next few years. Wedding, school, baby (eek!). But I can't help but feel like I'm a kid playing dress-up, and somebody is going to figure out that I'm not old enough to be on this road.

Being a grown up sucks. There are all kinds of worries: what's my credit score? Gee, my parents are starting to get old. Will I have one of those ADHD kids? I miss the days of, "If I leave the bar now, I will get 6 hours of sleep for work tomorrow. Will I be sober by then?"

The thing that sparked this current existential crisis is an invitation to a teacher party. Some teachers at the school Dan is long-term subbing at are throwing a party. I CAN'T BE OLD ENOUGH TO PARTY WITH TEACHERS. Teachers are old and I am young. But according to Dan, one girl is my very same age! Gah!

There's a less for all of y'all in this blog post: late night coffee consumption=existential crisis.

Great day

The first thing I had to do this morning was get a cavity filled, so I assumed that today would suck. That part did, in fact, suck. I hadn't been to the dentist in 6 years, as that's how long I've been without dental insurance. I'm still without it, but decided this year I needed to go. As the dentist was drilling my tooth, I thought to myself, "Oh, yeah! This is one of the reasons I haven't been to the dentist in 6 years." I came home and went to sleep until the Novocain wore off, which was 12:45. 12:45! Now, maybe some people would say, "Yeah, you slept until 12:45, what of it?" but waking up at 5am for years does something to your brain. It makes you a morning person, and it's quite unsettling to sleep past 9. I've been sleeping in for 6 or 7 weeks at this point, and I'm still not comfortable with it.

So, anyway, I get up at 12:45, all groggy and off because the day's more than half over, and accomplished next to nothing. The only thing I did was call the business office of my school to inquire about my TAP grant, where I faced the same ridiculous cunt-baggery that I experience every time I talk to someone in the business office. Sorry that you are sitting on a $600 grant that belongs to me and I, a full-time student who works only twice a week, want it. I can't believe how crazy I am!

Ugh. Bad day, just like I expected. Then this amazing thing happened. My day suddenly started to turn around. I made chicken, acorn squash, and quinoa for dinner, which was exciting on it's own because I generally don't have the time/energy/motivation to make a truly nutritious meal anymore. While that was cooking, I checked my email and found this in my inbox from my public speaking professor:

Lindsay,    I just wanted to send you a note congratulating you on a wonderful speech.  I saw such improvement in  your delivery (and after reading your self-eval,  I know  you worked  consciously  on that). It was a solid speech  all around --in terms of research, argumentation,  organization, and delivery. You should feel proud  of yourself!    Laura A.

Holy crap. I was just like the Grinch when his heart grows three sizes and breaks the measuring device. I was stoked after giving the speech because it went a lot better than my previous speech, and it felt really good to have my teacher email me about it. Eeee!

I then went to my college health class, which is never boring because the professor is a riot. I got the highest score of the class on last week's test, which was awesome. The class was good, as hilarious as usual, and we even got out early.

My days are generally better now that my focus is on school instead of work, but today was like a bonus good day. Now I'm going to have some tea, relax, and pretend that I don't have tons of homework to to tomorrow for the rest of the night :).

Burlington

We had a great trip! I love Burlington, and should really go there more often. Just like last year, we were insanely lucky with the weather. On Saturday, it was a bit chilly and windy, but it only rained while we were taking a nap in our hotel. As soon as we got in our little car to go back downtown, the clouds parted and the world dried up. Sunday was beautiful; totally warm and sunny. And even though it's past peak foliage season, we were able to peep at some leaves.

We went to lunch at Madera's, which is where we had dinner last year. We were asshole door-busters, so we were the only ones there for most of our meal. The meal was delicious. We then walked around the water, where we saw a SNAKE! I'm convinced it was Champ, visiting the shore in his shape-shifted form. After walking around the lake and shopping on Church Street, we headed back to our hotel for a nap.

When we headed back downtown, we walked around more looking for a place to eat dinner. Burlington has a surprising number of Asian restaurants, and we went with Pacific Rim. They had various types of dishes, and the restaurant was super cozy. I had peanut noodles with chicken and some drink that involved club soda, cranberry, vodka, and ginger. It was yummy.

On Sunday, we spent some time in this Museum/Aquarium (although, I don't think you should call yourself an aquarium if you only have some big catfish and some turtles. I want to see SHARKS AND WHALES AND MAYBE CHAMP). They had a hurricane simulator, where you got into this little phone booth looking thing and the wind quickly went from nothing to 78mph. I did not like it. But then I got to pet a starfish!

On the drive home, we were looking for this Robert Frost trail that was supposed to be "6 miles east of Middlebury" but we couldn't find it. We did find this interfaith/spiritual path, which turned out to be pretty funny because all of the paths were named after different religions. We followed the children's path because it was supposed to be like 40 minutes long and we didn't want to be there forever, but it was only 10 minutes long. And at the end of it, there was a tree with a sign that said "Guess what kind of tree this is? APPLE! Bears eat apples off this tree!" and I got all freaked out because it's fall now and maybe some bears would be in a feeding frenzy and eat me. We followed some other paths, and it was a nice hike. I was in charge of bear lookout. We didn't get eaten.

The end!

Is it the weekend yet?

This week is dragging! Since school started, my life has felt like it's going on warp speed-it's midterms time already (thankfully, none of my classes have midterm tests). But this weekend, Dan and I are heading to Burlington to celebrate our 3 year anniversary of being a couple (which was actually last saturday), our 4 year anniversary of living together (this sunday!) and our 1 year anniversary of being engaged (a week from saturday). Apparently, we are at our best in the fall. It looks like it's going to rain at least part of the time we are there, but it's still going to be awesome. I am so excited to get out of town and relax. Anyway, this is why my week is dragging. I thought Tuesday was Thursday, I thought today was Friday, ugh.

What's it like to work in a coffee shop?

Now that I'm only at the coffee shop twice a week, the behavior of the customers has become even more puzzling for me. When you are experiencing it 5 days a week, you get used to it. I guess. I thought I should shed some light on these insane freak-shows for the masses to see. If any of these customer reminds you of you, please stop.

First, I will start with the line. That is, the place where I take your order (aka, the place I try not to be). When I'm on the line, I will encounter the following people:

The cell phone talker

That phone call is just too important to pause. So this customer will whisper their order to me, you know, so as not to be rude to the person on the other end. When I have to ask questions (what kind of bagel do you want your idiot sandwich on?), I am the rude one. For interrupting your phone call. This is a problem anywhere you work with the public. And one of the most obnoxious things people do. Listen: you know that thing that is taking your order/ringing up your purchases? That HUMAN SHAPED thing? That's a human! Not a robot! So put the fucking cell phone down.

The starbucks customer

I know there is a starbucks on every corner, but I, thankfully, don't work in one. Some people don't know that coffee shops aren't all interchangeable. When you order a "Venti caramel macchiato" and you're not at starbucks, you are an asshole. Also, a caramel macchiato is stupid. A macchiato is espresso with a dollop of foam. Idiot.

The "I've been in line 10 minutes and haven't looked at the menu yet" customer

WTF were you doing for that 10 minutes? These people drive me crazy. Generally, their back is to me (even though they're next in line) and I have to yell "Can I help you can I help you can I help you" a million times before they look at me. When they finally turn around, they go "Oh, haha! I haven't even LOOKED at the menu yet!" Meanwhile, the line of customers is staring at me while I stare at the person, wondering why I'm not doing anything.

The "Do I have to wait in that line to buy just a..."

I don't know why people think that there are loopholes. I've had people ask me if they have to wait in line to buy the following things: Just a (it always starts out with "Just a") coffee, bagel, bagel sandwich, dozen bagels, latte, pound of coffee. That's basically everything we sell. What do they think the rest of the people are waiting to buy?

Now on to the bagel bar, where I prefer to be. This is where your (and everyone else in Saratoga's) yummy bagel with cream cheese, stupid egg sandwich, or idiot healthy harvest without onions gets made. At record speed. While this is a more desirable location because you don't have to speak with customers as much, generally when you do have to speak with them, it's 5000x's more annoying. I'll tell you why:

The lungers

No matter how many people were in front of them, no matter how many people are gathered around the bagel bar waiting for their bagel, no matter how (not) long ago they ordered, the lungers are convinced that every bagel I put up is theirs. It's really amusing, actually. They grab at it before I call the number, and then back off because it's not theirs. And again when the next one comes up. Lunge, retreat, repeat. Little tip: if your small coffee hasn't been poured yet, your bagel is not ready. I'm a barista, not a magician.

The starers

Probably my #1 most hated thing in all the world. At the coffee shop anyway. These people peer at me over the bagel bar, or sit at the bar and peek over the microwave to watch my every movement. I hate it because it MAKES ME UNCOMFORTABLE. Who wants to be stared at? It's fucking creepy. Step back and listen for your number, fuckwad.

The starers, but worse

These people take it a step farther by involving themselves in my bageling. "That bagel is supposed to have plain cream cheese! WHY ARE YOU PUTTING THAT PINK CREAM CHEESE ON MY BAGEL??? Oh, that's not mine??? I'm not the only one who ordered an everything bagel? Weird!" or "Is that the sesame with cream cheese, can you add this and this and this?" or "Make sure my poppy bagel gets toasted well but NOT BURNT." I just want to follow these people to their work and critique what they're doing.

The "Hellooooo" people

When did the phrase "excuse me" fall out of style? If you walk up to my bagel bar, cup your hands around your mouth, and yell "Helloooooo" at me, I will glare at you and say "WHAT." If you later choke on your bagel and die, I will say "GOOD."

Is this my bagel?

Oy vey. I have a very serious question. If I did not take your order, and furthermore, have never seen you before in my life, how could I possibly know if this is your bagel? Seriously? People walk up to me all day and say the words "Is this my bagel?" Not even "Is this a plan with plain cream cheese?" just "Is this my bagel?" How the fuck should I know? Here's an even better anecdote from this morning: There is an everything bagel ready to be picked up on the counter, and I place a plain bagel next to it and call out the number, "37 is up!" A guy walks up to the bar, looks back and forth between the everything and the plain for a minute (both of which have their respective numbers, in bold print, directly under the plate within the customers view), and goes, "Which one is 37?" WHAT. Well, you just ordered a plain bagel, and there is one right in front of you face, but 37 is probably that bagel covered with seeds and onions.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. This is certainly enough hatred to get y'all through your week. Perhaps I'll post more types of customers another day.

Scary!

I rarely have nightmares, or vivid dreams for that matter, but last night I had an awful one! It was super vivid. I dreamed that I was in a building, on the second to top floor, when I noticed it was on fire. There were some people (not sure who) on the top floor, but when I opened the door to the stairway to go warn them to get out, the entire top floor was on fire. I had no choice but to get myself out of there. Of course, the building had tons of levels, and it took forever to get to the bottom floor, and when I got there, my mom and (fictional) little sister were there. They didn't know about the fire, and when I told them, weren't in too much of a hurry to evacuate. Finally, I convinced them to get out, grabbed my computer (I have my priorities, even in dreams!) and we got out. Once outside, it was my parents house on fire. We crossed the street and watched it burn. This is when I woke up, totally disoriented and upset.
I HATE THAT DREAM!

My public speaking experiences so far

Here's a recap of my presentations thus far this semester:

First presentation: Informative speech about the environment in my Public Speaking class last Tuesday. Convinced I was "next up" for the entire three hours, I was in a constant state of panic. Eventually we ran out of time, prolonging the anticipation another week.

Second presentation: An about-me presentation in Spanish class yesterday: I worked tirelessly making an AWESOME power-point and prepared my speech. I was quite excited to do my speech. I get up there, pop in my flash drive, pull up my PowerPoint, and NOTHING IS THERE. It's broken. Nothing we try works. It is saved in the wrong format or corrupted or something. I have to re-do the PowerPoint for class tomorrow. My anticipation is prolonged.

Third presentation: Informative speech, take 2, tonight: I get in front of the class, and while waiting for my professor to set up the camera, entertain my classmates. First, I look into the audience and say "Don't look at me!" then, when a girl asks the teacher if she can do her speech without her shoes on, I say "Do you feet stink?" I then proceed to give my speech at break-neck speed, nearly fainting from lack of breathing. When I'm finished, I proclaim "I NEVER want to get up here again!" and run back to my seat.

Yikes!

an open letter to our new neighbors

Dear New Neighbors,

Oh, hi. We are your neighbors who live diagonally upstairs from you. You don't know us yet, but will soon learn to hate us as much as I already hate you.

In the month that you have lived here, you have talked to Dan four times. You are lucky Dan was home each time, because you would not have wanted to talk to me. He is much more diplomatic than I will ever be.

Why, exactly, do you need the bass to be all the way up? What is stopping you from listening to music like a civilized human? Also, when you cram tons of drunk people into every room of your apartment, and they are all screaming, do you know that it sounds like they are in our apartment?

We have defeated neighbors in the past, and we will crush you, little neighbors, like ants. The landlord is on speed dial, and he is on our side. Trust us.

From your #1 enemies,

Lindsay & Dan

snob

I just created the most kick-ass spanish presentation of all time. Dan is going to have to sit through it when he gets home, despite the fact that he doesn't know Spanish. I am going to get an A+.

I created the awesome visual aid on my new MacBook. This computer is incredible. I've always had PCs and they suuuuck. For instance, when I started them up, they would take a good 5 minutes or more to "warm up" or something before I could even use them. This little guy is ready to go the minute the screen turns on. My old computer was wicked slow and would freeze up constantly. My new Mac is wicked fast and never freezes. Also, it knows Spanish! My old computer was a blur of red spell-check underlines when I did my assignments, this one spell check underlines the English when I type everything else in Spanish. I am endlessly impressed with this little machine. Also, it's small, lightweight, and pretty. Love, love, love. Oh, yeah, and it will speak the words you type in a robot voice, so Dan and I had a lot of fun making the computer say naughty words. We're grown-ups.

Speaking of which, last night was more sex-ed in my health class. Here are a couple of gems from the evening:

My professor's words of wisdom about condoms: "After the guy does his thing, you know...ejaculates-it'sinthebook-don't hang out. Get outta there!"

During a video, a girl said "Is it normal that one of my breasts is bigger than the other?" and the strange, moustached, potentially autistic kid yelled, "WHAT?!"

In another video, a doctor told a teenage boy that he had chlamydia. The boy said "Oh, I must have gotten it from Deena." When Deena appeared on the screen, my professor yelled out "There she is! Dirty Deena."

On a final note, it is unbelievably cold in my apartment. Tonight, I'm making chili, cornbread, and pumpkin pie for dinner!

A brief history of Linda

If you were to start working at uncommon grounds anytime after January or February of 2007, our introductions would go something like this:

You: "Hi, I'm Bill."

Me: "Hi, I'm Linda."

Those of you who know me IRL (which, in myRL, is anywhere outside of UG) might wonder why someone named Lindsay would introduce themselves as Linda. And if you come looking for "Lindsay", you might wonder why nobody will acknowledge that a person with that name exists.

I can give you the answer in two words: Bob Carlton.

In January or February '07, I was planning my big move to Minneapolis. It was probably all I talked about because I was really excited. Bob and I had a bit that my or may not have played into this, where we would pretend to be breaking up or to have recently broken up while ringing up customers at the register. I don't remember the entire thing, but I declared one day that everyone at work would miss me so much they would cry. To this, Bob replied, "No we wont! We won't even remember your name when you leave! In fact, I've already forgotten it. What's your name again? Linda?" And the Linda was born.

This bit caught on like nothing I've ever seen. I was Linda (or any other name that started with the letter "L", but mostly Linda) until the day I moved. This blasphemy was created on my last day and posted on my myspace :

When I called to give my boss my new address to send my tax form, I said, "Hey, it's Lindsay." and he said, "Who?" and I said, "Linda." and he said, "Oh, hey!"

When I came back, some other nicknames were tried out (we're big on nicknames at UG) such as "Dan's girlfriend." but it always went back to Linda.

And so, I am now Linda at work. I sometimes almost say "Hey, it's Linda" on people's voice mails. I almost introduced myself as Linda in one class. But the greatest thing of all happened tonight at Yom Kippur dinner with Dan's elderly grandfather. Dan said to him "You remember Lindsay, right?" and....

He. Called. Me. Linda.

let's talk about sex

I am taking college health this semester because...well, I don't really know why. It's an easy credit and fulfills a requirement, in theory. However, it's a 3 hour class that runs until 9:30 p.m., there is a quiz every week, next week we have a big stupid test, and I had to sign up for a day to present my research paper today, the main problem being that I haven't even chosen a topic yet.

To compound my doubt over choosing this course, tonight's topic was S-E-X. Perhaps the weirdest thing about it is that today I stumbled upon a blog on the Glamour magazine website (I don't want to talk about it) with a category "Your Most Awkward Sex Experiences!!!!11!" Because I've never had a particularly awkward sex experience (unless you count the whole hey,-that's-my-roommate-I'm-having-sex-with thing), so I was quite intrigued. I found an entry about a 5th grade teacher who made a end of the year video for her class, only to discover after having sent out a copy to each child that there was an 8 second clip of her nekkid, doing god knows what, on the DVD. This led Dan and I to a discussion of our experiences with sex education. I was listening to a Genius playlist on my iPod off of "Push It" by S&P, and I kid you not, the song that came on as I was parking at school was "let's talk about sex." I then went to class and got some sex education. I chalk this up to synchronicity, which I learned from Ally's blog.

Anyhow, in my class, hilarity ensued. He's this 49 year old big, macho guy from with a heavy downstate accent, and he's always saying the funniest shit. I should really start tape recording the classes for my later amusement. Our preview to sexuality came a few weeks ago when we were talking about psychological health, and he was talking about hormones. He told us that "Women have estrogen, and that's the main hormone that comes from...you know...down there." Today's class included such classic gems as: "You will all experience break-ups. Probably a lot of them. Some of yous guys are probably sluts, right? You know, tramps?" And when a slide came up listing the types of sex (oral, anal, etc.) and he goes, "I don't really have anything to say about this. Know how to do these things." All in all, it felt like getting a sex ed lesson from your dad.

Ramblings of a mad-woman

I knew as I was scooping that coffee into my coffee maker that it was a baaad idea. 5pm might not seem that late, but I have been diligent for years about not drinking coffee too late, lest it keep me up at night. But I'm in a weird phase right now, transitioning away from being a super-early morning person, and damn it, i like coffee. So I brewed myself 4 cups (c'mon, we all know those "cups" are only 5 or 6oz. Pshaw!) of delicious coffee and guzzled it down as fast as my little throat would let me. After all, I had a class at 6:30 and wanted to be alert!
BIG MISTAKE. Almost as bad as the time the French backed the US during the American Revolution just to spite Britain, thus causing the French economy to tank and sparking, in part, the French Revolution (I'm taking Western Civ). It is now 11:30, and I'm insane! I'm not even a little tired, and I have no outlet for my energy. Dan went to bed HOURS ago. I got lonely and called a red plum "little guy" and invited him to get in my mouth. I then nearly choked on said plum, which triggered a fantasy-sequence in which I was actually choking and ran into the bedroom to try to get Dan to do the Heimlich maneuver on me, which caused me to wonder if he'd figure out what was wrong in time, what with me not being able to talk and all. Lesson learned? No coffee after 3pm for me.
What I should be doing right now is either reading the rest of my western civ chapter (which would put me to sleep for sure) or re-writing this poorly written super boring article about grade retention into a fabulous speech, or my Spanish homework. I just don't have the motivation. Instead, I'll probably watch more YouTube videos of cats putting their heads under running water and Obama calling Kanye West a jackass.
WILL I EVER SLEEP???

Tired

I got in bed around 11, completly exhausted, but couldn't sleep. I got up to watch some tv on the internet, but this seems to have given me a second wind of sorts. I don't feel alert enough to do anything useful (i.e. homework).
There are skidmore kids in the little pathway between my house and the neighbors. Needless to say, they are drunk and noisy. It's annoying me.
I am crabby.
Hmmph.

happy happy happy

Hey, guess who's glass is half full? I am so happy to be back in school. It's so bizarre to be going to a regular college instead of doing mostly 0n-line classes. I'm like, "you want me to sit at a desk?" I am taking classes at night because we only have one car and Dan works during the day. It works out quite well because so far there's a good mix of ages in my classes. It's not all dumb 18 year olds.

It feels really weird to be only working 2 days a week (which is sponsored by all the "Oops I don't have money for rent" coupons I've been collecting from Dan over the years, and his desire to help me live an awesome life). To be able to spend the majority of my time doing something I really enjoy is completely foreign. High school felt like an obligation, and after that came work, so I've always been doing stuff that I have to do, even if I hate it. I'm choosing to go to school now, and I love it. Specifically, I am thrilled to be taking Spanish (my first class was tonight!) which is what I want to do with my life. I'm doing something I love and it's getting me from here to my desired career. My life has purpose. I'm a real human.

This also means I get to sleep in 5 days a week and stay up until a normal-person time at night. I hadn't realized how stressful getting up at 5am is until I stopped having to do it. I know some people can function with little sleep, but I'm not that person. I am miserable with anything less than 7 hours. Which means that I have to be asleep by 10pm every night. Which rarely happens. Not to mention I'm a light sleeper, so throw noisy neighbors or Dan waking me up into the mix, and fuggitaboutit.

Long story short: My life is suddenly really awesome.

There is this nagging sense of guilt, however. Like, shouldn't my life suck at least a little? I know once school picks up, I'll be really busy, but I don't mind writing papers and studying.

Either way, I'm disgustingly excited and uncharacteristically optimistic.

Oh, on a completely unrelated topic, I'm trying to decide whether or not to change my last name when I get married. I know, I know, I shouted "I'M NEVER CHANGING MY NAME!" from the rooftops, but I've been thinking about it lately, and think it could be nice. But it's my name. How do you even make a decision like that? Yikes.

March, April, May, September

I'm not really sure what happened to all those months that fall between May and September, but here I am about to start classes again. Don't get me wrong, I'm ecstatic. I really like being in school, and this year being in school translates to me working very part time. And I did a lot this summer, it was pretty awesome. I just can't believe how quickly it flew by. I somehow managed to not only not save any money, but to have $300 less in my savings account than I did in May. This is quite unlike me, and leaves me feeling anxious if I think about it too much. So I try not to.

I'm not terribly excited about 3/4 of my classes this year. Western Civ (puke), Speech, and College Health are just holes on my gen-ed punch card. I'm excited but unsure about the Spanish class I'm taking, because I chose Spanish 1, even though I could have taken Spanish 2. I'm just worried that because it's been so long since I've been in a Spanish class, there is much I can't remember. I'm also worried that because I'm actually quite good at Spanish (or will be once I get a little practice to brush up), I'll be bored out of my mind.

It just hit me that today is my last day off of summer. The last day I'll be able to just lay around and do nothing. Instead, I'm trying to clean the apartment from top to bottom because who knows when I'll have time to do it again. I'm also trying to finish season 4 of Felicity ASAP.

I can't wait for fall weather to stick. I have a closet full of fall clothes, and these sweet boots that I had to search endlessly for are on the way:

I am ready.

It's getting hot in here

So there's something wrong with me, and I'm not really sure what it is, but a little time on Web MD tells me that I am suffering from heat exhaustion.
It all started on Thursday at work, while I was on bagel bar. It's really hot outside suddenly, proper summer hot, and consequently it's really hot inside the coffee shop. It's even hotter at the bagel bar, because a) you're in front of a toaster and b) you're moving non-stop making breakfast for all of Saratoga. Anyway, I was bageling my little heart out, and suddenly I started feeling really faint and nauseous. This has never happened to me before. I thought I might pass out and was worried about hitting my head on the counter and was also thinking that passing out while holding a big knife is probably not ideal. Unfortunately, nobody who was capable of bageling was nearby, and through some logic, I kept bageling for a good 10 minutes feeling this way. At this point, I was feeling quite panicked, thankfully someone who was able to take over walked by and I was able to go sit down and drink a bunch of water. I was then sent on break, and felt slightly better when I came back. I was well enough to finish my shift and rested all night when I got home.
Friday I felt okay at work, a little off but much better than the day before. That is, until the end of my shift when I developed an excruciating headache. Seriously, one of the worst I've ever had. It felt like there was all this pressure inside my skull. I couldn't even cash my check on the way home from work because I needed to just lie down. I immediately went to sleep upon arriving home, and slept until Dan got home from work, 3 or 4 hours later. I rested all night Friday and all day Saturday, and today at work I felt just fine. After walking home from work, I started feeling shaky again, but went to get a haircut anyway. The car was really hot inside, and my symptoms came back after about 10 minutes of driving. By the time I got home from my haircut, I felt extremely faint and my headache was back. Sheesh.
This is when I did some research, and it seems like I might have heat exhaustion. I don't really know. I've been consuming copious amounts of water since Thursday, which must be helping, but any time I am exposed to the heat I get really weird. This puts a serious damper on our trip to NYC and hiking in New Paltz tomorrow, as it's probably going to be nearly 100 degrees. It's okay, we decided to go to the museum of natural history to stay outta the heat.
So, anyway, that's my long winded story of my disease. Does it sound like heat exhaustion? How long will I need to avoid heat? I'd rather not develop heat stroke and die, but at some point I'd like to resume outdoor activities.

trip trip trip

If I can survive this week, I get to go on a super fun trip on Monday. First we're going to New York, then we're staying in Poughkeepsie in an awesome jacuzzi suite Monday night, and then we're going to hike around Minnewaska in New Paltz on Tuesday. It will be amazing.

Actually, we win! Ha!

We went and had the dreaded talk with the landlord today, telling him we couldn't take living in this damn apartment anymore. It turns out, though, that someone else complained about the neighbors that are the biggest problem, and the landlord goes on a "three strikes and you're out" rule. They just sent them a letter about the last complaint two days ago, and are going to call the stupid neighbors today and warn them that if anyone else complains, they are EVICTED. If they're noisy this weekend, we're supposed to call on Monday and let him know. Hopefully they'll just be quiet, although I wouldn't feel very bad if they got evicted because they are jerks. The good news is, it looks like we will be able to stay! The woman downstairs is quiet, and the jerk directly next door have gotten a lot quieter since I got in a fight with him (with the exception of their music being loud late at night twice this week; however, we could drown the sound out enough with fans to sleep) and the landlord said that they favor the quietest neighbor, so if we have any more sound issues we should just call. I'm so happy. I didn't want to move at all because it's so much work, but I especially don't want to move out of this apartment because I LOVE IT.
We're still waiting to hear about this teaching job Dan had two interviews for. It's only been 48 hours or so, but we're both ready to explode. With all the competition that's out there right now (we figure a few hundred applicants for each job), I'm incredibly proud that he's in the finals for this job. It's just like America's Next Top Model! Even if he doesn't get this job, I think he has a really good shot at getting a teaching job this year.
I've had such a good day off today. I got tons of stuff done that I've been putting off: cleaning, tons of laundry, and I finally started painting Dan's dresser. I've also watched tons of TV on the interweb. AND I just found out I get tomorrow off too!

You win, jerks!

The apartment hunt has resumed. This great apartment that I love and have put more work into in the past three months than I have ever put into any apartment is just too noisy. I give up! You win, Skiddies! Your incessant noise is unbeatable. The neighbors that we don't share a wall with are practicing their electric guitar right now. They are not good at it. They had noisy, everlasting parties Friday and Saturday, and the jerk next door has started with the music again. Clearly, this is not the apartment for us.
We found a nice looking place on Craigslist that promised to be quiet. We are waiting for the landlord to call us back. We are going to talk to our landlord on Wednesday to see if they will let us out of the lease, based on the fact that they told us it was a quiet apartment, and the fact that they have already talked to the neighbors to no avail. Rather than evicting the entire building in order to uphold their end of the lease, why not just let us get the fuck out. Plus, Tabatha might take over the lease, which would really make our lives a lot easier. If anyone knows of a quiet apartment within a few blocks of downtown, please let me know.

In other news, we found a reception site for our wedding! Lakeside Farms in Ballston Lake has a pavilion that we are going to rent out. Also, they cater, killing two birds with one stone. The plan is to have the ceremony in Dan's parents yard, which is about 10 minutes away, and then move to the pavilion for the reception. That way, if it rains, we can just do the ceremony in the pavilion. There is really no way to set up a tent big enough in Dan's parent's yard because there are a lot of trees and gardens, so this is a really nice compromise. I'm excited! Our wedding plans are starting to take shape. Hooray!

Take that, centipedes!

I'm transferring to ACC this fall because ESC was no good. I'm excited to go to class more, and to pay much less tuition for a seemingly better school. Also, I just found out that I am receiving a pell grant for most of my tuition, and may be receiving a TAP thingy for most of the rest, so basically my tuition is free this year. Being poor has finally paid off! There's still the cost of books, of course, and I'm using a little of my student loan to buy a new computer but I'm glad to be keeping my loans to a minimum. It's so tempting to take accept all of the loans I'm being offered, but I'm not so that I don't have thousands and thousands of dollars in debt when I'm finished with school (a la Dan).

My master plan is to work as much as possible while earning my associates degree so that I can squirrel away as much money as possible (which is not much now with the shotty tips we've been getting lately. This is a problem. What's up, customers?) so that when I transfer to a four-year, I can work as little as possible. Genius!

I'm trying to soak up the summer as much as possible, but it's slipping away. It feels like it's still May because of the weather. I'm not really complaining, I hate super hot weather, but it's hard to convince myself that it's the middle of July already when we haven't even brought a fan into the living room yet. Also, I have all of these projects I want to do this summer that I won't have time for once school is in session, but I can't seem to find the time now. At least I'm cooking a lot, which is fun. I'm trying all these new recipes with excellent results. Last night it was spinach, corn, and sun dried tomato enchiladas. Yum! Dan is a lucky fellow.

We now have centipedes. Eeeshk! I decided that they are only slightly less scary than mice. I mean, LOOK AT THIS:

These things come straight from hell. And if they're supposed to do "more good that harm" because they eat other bugs, then why do I have these big flies in my apartment, huh? Fuck you, centipedes!

Womanizer

Dan and I were in Target earlier today, and I left him to scavenge for food. I found a lunchable, and as I was walking towards him, a woman walked in front of him and said "Excuse me." Dan replied "Sure." This is when Dan noticed me, and I proudly held up my lunchable, to which Dan exclaimed "Niiiiiice!" The woman, however, having seen him browsing on his own, seemed to think that he was commenting on her assets. She turned and threw him the dirtiest look, but then saw me and my lunchable and, after realizing what had actually happened, hightailed it out of there. This situation prompted a quick fantasy involving Dan actually commenting on a woman in Target, and it was pretty funny.
We also witnessed a ridiculious hit and run at target. She smashed into this car right in front of us, causing a considerable amount of damage, looked at us, and then drove away. So we went ahead and put her licence plate number on the damaged car for her. Have a nice day, criminal!

WHAT I DID ON SUMMER VACATION PART 2

We left D.C. on Friday afternoon for Western NY. The drive was quite eventful. There were a million signs saying things such as "Watch out for DUI drivers" and "High DUI area" which made us feel safe and secure. Then there was the witty "Buckle Up Next Million Miles" sign. We were driving mostly along windy, narrow roads, and at one point two deer almost ran out in front of our car. The drive took much longer than the 7 hours estimated by map quest, most likely because it took about 2 hours to get out of the D.C. area, despite the fact that we were parked 30 minutes north of the city to begin with.

Saturday we headed to Niagara Falls, which I had never been to before. It was incredible. We don't really have waterfalls in Iowa; the first time I saw one was Minnehaha Falls in Minneapolis, which is this tiny little thing:

so I was very impressed with the enormity of Niagara Falls. We went on the Maid of the Mist, which was really cool, if not a little scary. I mean, you get right up on that bitch. At that distance, the amount of water pouring over the edge was incomprehensible to my little brain. Also, I was worried the boat would capsize and we would all die in the churning water. At the top of the falls, you are able to go right up to the edge and watch the water go over, which was cool.
On Sunday we toured Geneso with a group of Dan's friends from college and saw Kirk Cameron at the Charcoal Corral. We didn't approach him, because he was with his kids and junk, but it was pretty random and funny. We went to see The Hangover, which Dan and I both hated, but as far as I can tell we're the only ones in the entire world who feel that way.

Um, I think thats it. It was a crazy, jam-packed trip, but it was a lot of fun. THE END.

WHAT I DID ON SUMMER VACATION

What a trip. In all the driving we did, we could have gone to Iowa and then some. It was a lot of fun, though, and definitely worth the trip.

We left directly after I got off work for Alexandria, VA, where Dan has a college friend that we were crashing with. We encountered torrential downpours and hit the NYC area right around 5pm--awesome. $30-40 in tolls took us on the NJ turnpike, through Delaware, Maryland, and eventually into Virginia. We saw an amazing sunset in Delaware. There was a lot of construction, and therefore traffic, in Maryland. We arrived around 11:30 at night and had our car cased by a scary thug while we were unloading it. He asked if we had a cigarette while peering into our car, presumably to see if we had any valuables worth breaking the windows for. Thankfully, we do not.

Thursday Dan had a rally to attend, and I decided to head off to Georgetown. I never go on adventures on my own anymore, so it was exciting to be in a new city and figure it out without anyone else to help me. Washington is extremely easy to navigate, especially the metro system, so it wasn't challenging. Georgetown was pretty stupid, mostly filled with high-end shops. I walked along the canal, which was green and smelly, and then found cover from the nearly 100 degree heat in a mall. I explored more, and eventually ended up in a Barnes & Noble cafe. I spent an hour or two reading there, and then went back to meet Dan. After a fiasco where we couldn't find each other in the train station, due to it's size and the fact that Dan's phone didn't have reception, we headed to Annapolis to meet a friend for dinner.

I had a soft shell crab sandwich for dinner. Now, when I ordered it, I was thinking "Oh, yummy. I like crab." When this came to the table:

I was somewhat surprised. This is not an actual picture of my soft shell crab sandwich, but you get the idea. It was delicious, definitely the freshest seafood I've eaten. YUM!

Friday was spent seeing the sights in Washington. We didn't have very much time there because we had to drive up to Western NY that night and didn't want to be in the car too late, but we saw a lot: The White House, the Museum of Natural History, the Washington Memorial, the Lincoln Memorial, and the Vietnam Memorial. You could spend a week there and not see everything, especially with all of the museums. Which, by the way, are all free. I didn't like D.C. that much, but I would like to explore more of the museums.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Best. Week. Ever.

This has got to be the most exciting week of my life. Today I rode a HORSE. I have never ridden a horse before, or any animal for that matter. Furthermore, I am afraid of horses. I don't really want to talk about it, but...they have human teeth. However, I conquered my fears and am no longer afraid of horses, and will most likely ride more in the future. It was very zen, and my horse was like a robot who followed the horse in front of it, making it unnecessary for me to do much more than hold on. Which I did tightly. We trotted a few times, which was fun/terrifying. I was bouncing everywhere. Oh, and here's a picture of me from today:

But seriously, Simone took some pictures and they will be on facebook at some point.

As if that wasn't enough, Dan and I are getting ready for our road trip to Washington D.C. and then to Western NY. Eeee! We are leaving right after work on Wednesday, and Thursday Dan will be partaking in a protest for health care so I'll have the day to myself to explore the city. I rarely go on solo adventures these days, so this will be fun. Friday we are going to tour D.C. together; I think we're going to check out the White House and then the National Mall. We're driving up to Western NY Friday afternoon, and going to Niagara Falls on Saturday, where we will ride on the Maid of the Mist. Then Sunday will be a tour of Geneseo. We're seeing many friends (mostly college friends of Dan's) and will have many adventures.

No such thing as a great apartment

Perhaps it's just my luck, but for me the word "apartment" is synonymous with "mice" and "noisy neighbors". Someday I will live in a house with a great big yard, far away from any other humans, with pest control on speed dial.

Our last apartment was not great, it was tiny and stupid and full* of mice in the winter. It was, however, quiet. Each night, when it was time for me to go beddy-bye in preparation for work, which begins for me each day at 5:30 or 6a.m., there was no thudding bass, no 20 year olds screaming and laughing. All sounds were easily drowned out by a fan on low.

Our current apartment, by all appearances, is great. It's big, especially the kitchen, it's got a balcony out back, tons of sunlight, it's downtown, and it's wicked cheap. What I didn't know when I signed the lease was that it came with a neighbor with a penchant for parties and a love of the unnecessarily loud bass. In fact, when asked about the noise level in the apartment, the realtor insisted that the people were professional adults and therefore quiet.

Dan has talked to them twice at night about turning the music down, and I went over there yesterday when my lovely nap was cut short by that damn bass. Two fans on high couldn't drown out the thumping, but when I asked him to turn it down he stared at me blankly and said "It's not that loud." What might have been a quick and cordial conversation turned into an argument, and we are now enemies. I. Hate. Him. Perhaps he will now wrap his tiny brain around the idea what we can hear his bass, and we don't like it; if not, maybe the landlord will be more convincing. If not, I could get a pet bear and send him over to discuss the music.

*this is a slight exaggeration

This summer...

...I'm going to ride a horse and go to a NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK concert (tomorrow!!!1!!1) and go to the great escape and go to Washington D.C. and Niagara Falls and go roller skating!

Best. Summer. Ever.

Midwest trip

My trip to the Midwest went well. It was jam-packed with events because I wasn't there for long at all. Exhausting as it was, I had a really good time. I usually feel kind of anxious when I'm there, antsy to get back home (oh how I love being home) until the very last day, at which point I get sad. This time I was just soaking up family time and doing as much as I could. I really liked being there.
Dan and I went to school lunch with my nephew, Dayde, who is in second grade. The kids at the table seemed suspicious of us. We then played basketball with Dayde at recess, a sport which he is surprisingly good at, despite the fact that he's only 7. He was all "I can stand with my back to the basket and get the ball in." and I was all "No you can't." But then he did, and I was all "Say whaaaaaaat?" Other than that, I got to spend a lot of time with all my nephews, which was fun because they are cute and funny.
I went to David's Bridal in Rochester, MN with my mom and sister (which I think that every girl from the Iowa/Minnesota does when she gets engaged) even though I didn't really want to (the wedding isn't for over a year and I didn't really think I would find a wedding dress). I ended up finding a dress that I fell in love with, it turned me into a total girl. I tried on three or four others, but that was the dress. People always say "When you find your wedding dress, you'll know," but I thought that was just silly. I thought that that only hap pend in Sophia Kinsella novels. Boy was I wrong. I bought it and had them ship it to me, I will be getting it any time now. That's a giant stress out of the way!
I took Dan on the unofficial tour of what I like to do when I visit Mason City (which he's been on at least once before because we lived there for three weeks before moving to Minneapolis). We went to Southbridge Mall, the Music Man Square, the MacNider art museam, and the Meridith Wilson foot bridge. Also we spent a lot of time at Taco Tico and Culvers. And bought Iowa t-shirts at Walgreens. Three for $10!

On Sunday afternoon we took a bus up to Minneapolis. It was weird to be back. We had a really nice night. Dinner at Azia, where I inexplicably got drunk off of one glass of wine and a few sips of beer. We spent the night wandering around uptown, and eventually went back to our hotel armed with lunchables. We spent half the day Monday downtown, hitting all of the regular spots we could. After breakfast at Dunn Bros, we snooped around the outside of our old building. We took the old familiar walk down Nicollett to Barnes & Noble, and many people I used to work with were there that day.
We eventually took a bus back uptown, and had the inevitable encounter with a crazy person. I let Dan have the conversation with the enthusiastic guy in the orange jumpsuit. It was a beautiful day, so we grabbed lunch and then headed over to Lake Calhoun. We were staying with some friends that night, and we got there just in time for the Cornhole toss competition. Many glasses of sangria later, I found myself playing twister in Jodi's driveway, and later petting a marsupial. Needless to say, it was a fun night.

We flew out the next day, and Dan promptly got extremely sick. He is now feeling much better, and I am sick. I hope that this bug living in my stomach goes away soon, because toast, saltine crackers, and ginger ale make for a boring diet.

Simmons

My friend Bob's blog just reminded me of this little story that I haven't shared with everyone in the world yet, and while I shared it as a comment on his blog, I feel that I should make sure everyone hears it.


I worked at the downtown Barnes & Noble while living in Minneapolis (whoa, google image brought me some nostalgia), and one day I was minding my own business, avoiding work, when a co-worker informed me that Gene Simmons was downstairs in the music department. This caused me much excitement, because this is what was going on in my head:

So I head downstairs, trying to act casual, hoping that it's not too much to ask that he be wearing short-shorts and sneakers. But after a quick scan of the area, I don't see a crazy red 'fro anywhere and worry that I missed him. Suddenly, my gaze lands on this:

At which point my heart sinks and I realize the horrible mistake I've made. Richard Simmons is not Gene Simmons. Upon further consideration, I'm not sure what to make of the fact that I'd much rather meet Richard Simmons than Gene Simmons. I can say without a doubt, however, that Gene Simmons is pretty scary, especially his hair.

You can't make me

I'm trying to plow through my ethics reading. It's only 28 pages, but I just can't stand this author. He's a jerk. And he's a misogynist!!! He compared all women's ability to do manual labor with the abilities of the elderly and handicapped. My only consolation is that he is dead. DEAD! So, anyway, I gave up with about 7 pages to go. I'll finish it tomorrow. Whatevs.

Tomorrow I might be looking at an apartment. Apparently some dude was supposed to take it, and he has the lease that he is filling out, but he now won't return their phone calls. Or something. So it could go either way. The people we rent from are pretty sketchy. I'm just hoping they like us (I don't see why they wouldn't, we pay the rent on time and aren't annoying) so that we get dibs on awesome apartments. I measured our current apartment to see how small it really is, and to have something to compare square footage to, and I almost died when I found out that this place is under 400 square feet. I don't know how I've lived here with another human for the past year.

My birthday is in a month. I guess I'm going to be 24. I'm not really sure how that happened. I can't exactly remember when I stopped being 19.

So long, sucker

So, that horrible professor I've been bitching about? She's gone. Hopefully she died, but I assume she just got fired. A new, seemingly personable, and more importantly, intelligent professor took over today. I'm so happy I did a victory dance around the living room. Is it my birthday already?

I'll take your man...

Aaahhh! I can't get this Salt-n-Pepa song out of my head! It's bouncing around in there more than M.I.A.'s paper planes did. Oh, no! Now Paper Planes is back!!

I accidentally took a two hour nap after work, and then drank some coffee at 9pm to aid in my getting ahead of my work for next week, but now I'm done with work and just wired. I'm stoked though; I got far enough ahead that I don't have to do any work tomorrow. None. This will be the first day in two weeks that I haven't done school work. I can do real person stuff, like wash every dish I own, since that's my chore and I haven't done them in days. Or pick up that ever growing pile of clothes next to my bed. Or make a grocery list and buy groceries! I just keep eating oranges all day becasue that's the only food around here. Can you OD on vitamin C?

I decided to not take a class this summer. I'm just going to work and save money and hang out with people all the time. And plan my wedding! I think I'm visiting good ol' Iowa in May, once the semester is over, but I haven't actually looked into it at all. I miss my family, especially my sister and nephews. Here's some proof they're related to me-these are my two older nephews:

Rambly Rant

School has officially started, putting a srs damper on my social life/sitting on the couch time. Four days a week, I go to work wicked early, then study as soon as I get home, stopping only to eat dinner and then eventually go to sleep. On day five, I wake up, start doing work, and continue until 6pm or so. Last week I was able to finish all my work by Thursday night so that Friday I could sit on the couch and Saturday I could play with Dan, which was wonderful.
One of my professors is insisting I submit my weekly essays to this online tutoring service (insulting!) before submitting them to her, so now I have to wait for them to make comments about my paper and send it back to me, and then "fix" the damn thing before I can even turn it in, which means tomorrow I won't be able to just sit on the couch watching Blossom all day.
I checked this professor I've been bitching about to everyone who will listen (and maybe some who are tuning me out) on Rate My Professor and she got terrible reviews. Everyone had basically the same complaints as I do. One of my main issues with her is that she has no concept of grammar or punctuation. Her most commonly used punctuation is the ellipsis. Which, beyond making me think she's a total idiot, creates much confusion in her directions and answers to my questions. Also, she keeps sending snarky emails with conflicting demands. Plus, she may or may not be a baptist priest (minster?). I got inconclusive evidence from google. Thankfully, she seemed to grade my first paper fairly. I got an 85! All of her criticisms were fair. I guess I should back up my bold statements with fact. She as all "PROVE IT." And I was all "WHAER."
The good news is that I am going to sleep soon and I'm not waking up until I'm good an ready tomorrow.

I'm so excited

I'm a real girl now! I just finished registering for classes and paying my bill for college. For some reason, the tuition was slightly higher (I'm guessing there were some sneaky fees) and my financial aid was slightly lower then expected, but I have been saving tons* of money, so I'm all set. Classes start on January 20, which is soon. I'm taking 12 credits, which I think is do-able, especially since I'll be only working 4 days a week instead of 5. Two of my classes are online, which makes my life much easier.
I'm taking a college writing class, intro to ethics, and intro to psychology. I'm not sure what I want to do with my life yet, psychology or a related social service job is a possibility. I also am interested in Spanish, specifically translating of some sort. My brother does that (but with German) and seems to like it a lot. But I decided to give a psychology class a try to see what I think of it.
I can't wait to start!

Oh, also, my life reminds me of that episode of Saved by the Bell where Jessie is addicted to caffeine pills. For the record, I'm Zach:






*This is a gross exaggeration

Wow, our bodies are GROSS.

Dan and I went to NYC yesterday. When had to drive to Croton-Harmon to catch a commuter train instead of Poughkeepsie because a train had derailed earlier that morning, which was kind of a pain in the ass. It made the trip longer than normal. But we saved some money on the ticket. So look at that, my glass is half full.
We headed to South Street Seaport to see the Bodies exhibit. In case you haven't heard of it (and are too lazy to click on the link) it's an exhibit of actual human bodies and body parts that have been plasticised through a process much too complicated for my little brain to comprehend. It's intent is to show people what our bodies look like inside and how they work. There are quite a few full bodies stripped down to various degrees to show muscles and nerves and stuff. The part that surprised me was that these bodies weren't in a case of any sort, or even roped off. They were just...standing there. You could get right up to them. I mean, you weren't allowed to touch them, but you could have if you wanted to.
I saw so many amazing things. Some of the bodies were cut in half or into slices and then lined up, so you could see cross sections of our insides. There was a body next to it's skeleton. And on and on. I'm really glad I went. It's surprising how little we know about our bodies. There was a touch station with a brain, which I picked up and got creeped out by. I got queasy by the end of it, I think the tumor with hair and teeth growing on it was what did it. I definitely felt my lunch churning in my stomach, and couldn't eat for hours afterwards. But it was worth it. If you get the chance to see it, you should.
We then walked from the Seaport to Union Square (which doesn't beat the time we walked from Grand Central Station all the way to and across the Brooklyn Bridge) because we always try to walk a crazy amount when we go there. Just for the purpose of walking a crazy amount. We calculated (because it's all part of our craziness) and we walked between 6 and 8 miles yesterday. The weather was good for walking, it wasn't windy or snowing or anything. We went to the Strand, and it was crazier in there then I've ever seen it. I've been there on weekends and weekdays, I guess we just have lucked out in the past. I quickly got overwhelmed. I did find a Joyce Carol Oates book that I don't have and a T.C. Boyle book that has caught my eye in the past. I've never read anything by him, but Dan said he read a short story that he liked.
On the way home we stopped in New Paltz to go to Taco Shack, which is Dan's favorite restaurant in the entire world. The name sums it up, it's totally sketchy. But totally delicious.