hooray!

I just ran again for the first time since I sprained my ankle. Well, I ran one other time, last monday, but I had to cut the run short because my ankle hurt. This time I braced my ankle and it was fine. It felt a little stiff at first, but once I got going it didn't hurt at all. I was really worried about the toll the nearly 2 weeks of not running would take on my progress, but somehow I'm right back on track--I ran further than I've ever been able to somehow. Hooray! The ankle feels a bit sore right now, but as far as I can tell, I can get right back to running! Hallelujah!

Our invitations arrived today. I love them so much! We ordered them from this website and they turned out great. For 75 invitations, response cards, reception cards, and envelopes for everything, the total was under $200, which was really reasonable as far as I could tell. The idea of the wedding is becoming very real at this point. Tonight we're going to do some mock-ups of a decoration idea I have, hopefully it looks as awesome in real life as it does in my head.

The owner of the apartment I want so badly called last night to tell us that she was just waiting to get ahold of Dan's place of employment to confirm that he works there, and she will be calling on Monday after she gets ahold of them for us to sign the lease! I'm still holding out about 3.8% doubt that we'll get it. I really want it, and I don't want to get my hopes all up and then get disappointed. We got a ton of boxes from borders (as we do every year around this time) and started packing today, because whether or not we get this apartment, we're moving within the next two months. We got almost the entire bedroom packed up today, which is nice.

If we do get it, we can move in right away. In that case, I hope to be out of here by the 15th so that it can possibly be rented out and we will only have to pay rent for one and a half apartments in March. I will be sad to leave this one, it's an amazing apartment. If only it wasn't so damn noisy all the time. I will not miss listening to my gross downstairs neighbor cough all day and night, the parties, having someone drop something heavy directly over my bed when I'm sleeping...etc. It will be a huge relief.

The landlord is coming Monday to take pictures of the apartment so he can list it. I'm curious to see how much it's going to go for. It will be creepy to have pictures of our apartment on teh interwebs.

I WANT THAT

I'm freaking out a little because we found the cutest apartment that is, oh, I don't know, PERFECT for us! We put down a security deposit and filled out an application, and now we're waiting to hear back with their approval/rejection.

It's a 2 bedroom on Maple Ave above an old lady hair salon, which means no noise. The building next door is a business, so that means really no noise. I really liked it a lot; there's a sun porch in the front of the apartment and the kitchen sink has a window above it. Plus, it's available now, so we could move in whenever we feel like it. Now I'm just nervous that they'll reject us for some reason. I guess someone looked at it yesterday, and someone else had an appointment to look at it, but as far as I know we're the front runners.

Cross your fingers and your toes, this is our ticket out of noisy hell!

little math class of horrors

I think I mentioned before that I'm afraid of everyone in my math class. Picture adult-learner night classes. Throw in some scary 20 year old girls who wear oversized hoodies. What's going on in your head is my reality. I've never had a class like this.

The class I'm taking is Math 097, which is just an algebra refresher. I haven't done algebra since Y2K, so it was necessary for me to get refreshed. Horrifyingly, each thing we "learn" comes rushing back to me. What else could I know if I didn't have dusty algebra knowledge taking up space in my head? I digress.

I have tried 3 different seats in the class, searching for the "least scary" spot. The seat I choose the first night was occupied on the second night by a middle-aged man who, due to his jittery enthusiasm and gold cross necklace, I assume recently completed some sort of AA program. So I picked a seat against the wall, two rows back from the teacher. Unfortunately, in the row behind me is a teenaged mother and her scary, thuggish, whore-bag friend. They chatter and gossip and loudly eat potato chips throughout class, so rather than hitting them with my book, I sought out a new seat.

I found a nice little spot all the way in the back corner, with a one desk buffer between me and another student. There is a one desk buffer between this student and the aforementioned recovered alcoholic, who I will call Bill.

Bill just loves learning math. Sometimes he gets so excited that he has to stand up. When we're doing work on our own, he finishes his own and then rushes around, checking his answer against other students'. He somehow learned my name and told me to have a good weekend last Thursday, despite my efforts to avoid eye contact with everyone in the class and to never, ever speak to any of them. Until tonight, I found his enthusiasm endearing and amusing.

We were learning how to create tables in our calculators, and he was having trouble or something. So he chose me, the sullen girl in the back corner who never talks to anyone, to help him. He plopped down in my buffer desk and forced me to help him put an equation into his calculator. Okay, fine. So I'm helping him, and this conversation ensued:

Bill: "Oh, look at you, smart girl over here!"

Me: Nervous chuckle

Bill: "You live in town here?"

Me: "Um, yeah."

Bill: "Where? Gansevoort or what?"

Me: "Saratoga."

Bill: "Oh, good! You're right by me if I need you!" (um, what?) "Do you know where mumble mumble is?"

Me: "No."

Bill: "Oh, it's by the Wilton Mall!" (for those of you not from around here, saying that the Wilton Mall and Downtown Saratoga are "right by each other" is a gross exaggeration) "That's our spot." (um, what?) "If I ever need your help, that's our spot."

Me: Nervous chuckle

Oh, I see. So you forced me to help you in class, and now I'm your tutor? Who announces something like that? Unfortunately for SCARY Bill, I barely have time to complete my own homework, so I will not be meeting him at Wilton Mall (perhaps he was thinking we could sit by Auntie Annie's?) to tutor him in remedial math. I hightailed it outta there after class, lest he ask me for my phone number!

I FEEL SO AFRAID AND ALONE.

winter doldrums

I'm creeping up on nearly a week without a run. My overconfidence in my body's ability to heal itself from injury or illness always leads to massive frustration. I couldn't really walk on Thursday or Friday, I was super gimpy. I rested a lot both those days, and pretty well yesterday and today. There is still a little pain sometimes, but I can walk now without pain. I am going to take a little walk tomorrow morning, and then if there are no repercussions (please, please, please!) I will go on a run tomorrow afternoon. I just don't want to hurt my foot worse and have to wait longer to get back out there.

This stupid week has made me realize how glad I am that I took up running. It's really good for my mental health. My stress level has been much higher this week than it was the weeks before. It's nice to get outside for a little bit a few times a week, and the endorphins don't hurt either. I'm pissed off that I've had to stay inside and rest. I'm not a very patient person. I'm also pissed off that when I get back out there, I don't think I'll be quite as good as I was. It'll probably take a week or so to get back to where I was, and then I can progress more. So frustrating!

We're progressing on our wedding plans. We ordered invitations last night, which was really exciting. I can't wait for them to get here! We also decided to incorporate lovebirds into our decorations, which I am excited about. Now I have all of these new decoration ideas swarming around in my brain, it's hard to make any decisions. I really do want the whole wedding thing, and as stressful as it is, I'm enjoying the planning part (kind of), but Vegas is awfully appealing as the wedding gets closer and closer. I think that, in the end, everything will come together and it's going to be amazing. It'll be over before we know it. Yikes!

this is boring

You've been warned.

I cut out most of my caffeine at the beginning of the year. With the exception of the two days a week that I work, I almost never have it. Tonight, in a moment of weakness, I got a ridiculously overpriced Dr. Pepper from the school vending machine. I almost pushed that ginger ale button, but I made the fateful decision to get some sugary caffeine goodness at the last second. I am now paying for that decision. Granted, it's only midnight, but I'm really wired and not in a good way. I have tons of work to be doing, but the thought of doing it is causing anxiety, the likes of which that can only be attributed to that damn dr. pepper. As with any substance I have ever ingested, I'm a little worried that it's effects will last forever. It's like that kid who went to the dentist! Yikes!!

No matter how much I try to deny it, my dumb ankle is injured more than I thought. Actually, it's not even my ankle but the outside of my foot. It probably wasn't good to run a mile after I twisted it on Tuesday, and then stand on it all day at work yesterday and walk to the library and home on it, but how was I supposed to know? It never got swollen or bruised or anything, and it didn't really hurt on Tuesday or Wednesday. Today it hurts to put weight on it and I'm limping like a moron. I have been RICEing it, as I mentioned before, so hopefully this won't last too long. I WANT TO RUN. Hmph. Tomorrow is definitely out, I'm hoping by some miracle I will wake up tomorrow with no pain and will run on Saturday. I don't know how realistic that is.

Boo!

Waah!

My schedule yesterday caused my run to happen during the snowstorm we got. There were a couple of inches of fresh snow on the ground, which in my mind was going to be soft and cushiony for my joints. What I learned is that running on snow is problematic, for two reasons:

1. It's freeking difficult. I don't know why, exactly, but it required more effort.

2. I couldn't see where the sidewalk met the grass, and landed directly on this and rolled my sad little ankle. I finished my run, which was probably the worst decision ever, and today my ankle and foot are sore and I'm increasingly limpy.

I'm not sure how long I'll be out of commission. I'm RICEing it (you know-rest, ice, compression, elevation. Duh!) but I stood on it all day at work, which is probably why it hurts so much tonight. I'm hoping that I'll only have to take today, tomorrow, and maybe friday off at the most and I'll be back out there on Saturday at the latest. A running-induced injury is my worst nightmare. Now I'm all into it and I don't want to stop, even for a few days! Argh.

In other news, school is kicking my ass. I have so much homework. Someone took my Sunday shift at the grounds, which is financially irresponsible, but will help tremendously with getting back on top of my work. I'm also going to skip my stupid history class tomorrow morning because I don't want to listen to the teacher talk about some random history books that he brought in for the day, which are only loosely related to the subject of our required reading. He inexplicably doesn't bother to draw connections between his faves and our textbook, so all that happens during class is that I get increasingly confused. Meanwhile, there's a quiz on Tuesday about the textbook, not his faves, and I don't have and hour and a half to waste right now. I will instead be holed up at the kitchen table trying to dig myself out of this pile of homework.

Champion!

Sunday was dance flurry in Saratoga, meaning tons of assholes were in town, and they were real hungry. Work would have kicked my ass had it not been declared positive day. Still, I moved almost non-stop for about 8 hours and I was exhausted. I came home and took a little nap, which stretched into a two-hour nap. It was wonderful, but when I woke up, I felt like I had slept too long (and was possibly too beat from work) to go on a run. Then I decided that I would just do it; I'm not out there very long after all, and if I was too tired, I would just slow down.

Well, I went out there and KICKED ASS. I can't believe I almost didn't go. The run felt easy. Easy! The whole time I was thinking "What the hell is going on?!" I blew past the driveway I used to stop at, and then when we neared the end of the block that I just ran to for the first time yesterday, and Dan said "You're almost there!", I said, "I'm going to keep going!" He was like, "What?!"

I ran an extra block! If I had remembered to do my inhaler, I would have kept going, but I had to stop for a bit to catch my breath. I didn't stop for long though, and I ran all the way to the end of the next block, which I've never been able to do. This continued through the entire run, I ran almost all of the 1.25 miles without stopping. When I got to the last block, I stopped to walk just a little bit, because I didn't think that I could make it all the way to the end, but I realized as I was running the last bit that I totally could have done it.

I think I'm going to be running that whole route without stopping within two weeks. And the most exciting thing was that I loved the entire run last night. Every minute. Today was a recovery day, so I couldn't go out, but it's hard to stay inside when I'm getting so much better every time. I ran 5 days last week, which I think is really too much for someone just starting out, but I'm not sure. I'm going to take Mondays and Fridays off for sure, and probably Wednesdays because I won't have time between work and class. I wish I could just go out every day, though! I can't wait to get out there tomorrow and see how far I can go.

Thank god I'm making so many improvements, it's the main thing that keeps me heading back out. If it was only hard and wasn't getting any easier, I would have given up by now.

I thought I'd be running a marathon by now!

I was feeling a little discouraged after my run today. I am noticing tiny improvements, like when I get to a spot where I normally have to stop and walk to catch my breath, but I just keep going (I should admit, however, this is paid for towards the end of the run when I can barely bring it home). For some reason, I thought it would be easier already. I just started running 11 days ago, so I'm not sure what I thought would happen (magic?), but last week I thought to myself, "This will be the hardest week. It's only going to get easier." Hey, guess what? It's basically exactly as hard as it was 11 days ago. So to counteract this discouragement, I have a new, more realistic inner monologue going on: It's going to be easier by my birthday. My birthday is in mid-April, this seems doable.

Also, they say that it takes three weeks to form a habit, after which anything becomes easier. I am more than halfway to three weeks, so we'll see if that holds true.

If nothing else, I'm proud of my motivation. I have gone out 8 out of the 11 days, and have a hard time taking days off. I know that I have to in order to avoid injury, but I'm just so impatient to get better, I want to go and go and go to get there. Thankfully, Dan is here to reign me in. And to run with me every day, and to encourage me the entire way, and to sing the rocky theme song for me when I need it. Some days it feels good to be out there, some days it feels real bad. I don't think I would be out there every day without him.

In other news, I think I'm going to be completely irresponsible tonight and find something to watch on Hulu instead of doing the mountain of homework next to me. There's always tomorrow!

personal pep talk

Here is a list of why this semester sucks:

1) My US history to 1877 class. This is a class that I would not choose for myself if it wasn't required. I tried to get into US history 1877-present, which would have been mildly more interesting in my opinion, but it did not fit into my schedule. It would also be mildly more interesting if my professor wasn't awful. He's a jerk and he's boring and he wouldn't stop talking until 5 minutes after class was supposed to end. I'm not even sure if he was done, but most of the class took advantage of him pausing to get up and rush out of the room. I'm somewhat convinced that the stragglers are still there listening to him drone on. He's my arch nemesis.

2) Math 097. Remedial math. Doesn't count towards my degree. The fact that my placement test indicated that I would need this course didn't seem unusual to me, as I took my last math class in 11th grade. And the refresher is nice. Like when my teacher announces we're going to divide fractions, and I stare at him blankly, but then he explains it and it all comes rushing back to me and I realize I'm not a total idiot and I do know how to do math. I assumed that since we started with fractions, it was only going to get harder and there would be things down the line that I didn't know how to do. I stopped assuming that tonight when the lesson was about addition. And 7+2 stumped the dumb ass girl behind me. Tuesday we're learning about subtraction, division, and multiplication. I think I might be busy that night.

3) My schedule is weird and stressful. I haven't quite figured out how I'm going to do my...

4) Massive amounts of homework. Seriously, I had it so easy last semester, and even then I did homework 6 days a week. Two of my classes never had homework. This semester, I'm not taking any bullshit classes (such as college health. Oh, what I wouldn't give to be in such an easy class again), unless you count Math 097 as a bullshit class, which I kind of do, except there's a lot of homework involved. There is really no way around the reading for US history, I'm taking a writing about literature class which is a ton of work for obvious reasons, and this semester, I'm learning brand new things in Spanish class, making the homework much more challenging.

But listen, my glass is half full. I just finished my second week. Last semester went by really fast, so I'm hoping this semester does the same. And spring break is in like 5 or 6 weeks. I think it's going to be okay.

I think this uncharacteristic optimism is due to my new health and fitness endeavor. Since Saturday, I've run 4 times. I seriously didn't want to go today, I felt tired and lazy, but I did anyway. Each time I've gone out, I go a tiny bit faster. I'm not racing myself, I just keep trying to run a little more and walk a little less each time. Today I got to the alley where I had to stop and walk the last 3 times I went out, and I didn't need to stop, so I went a little further. I've done yoga every day since Sunday, which is doing wonders for my stress level.

Time to make a grocery list! My life is exciting!!