way to live up to the stereotypes, officer!

Nice knees, buddy

So I just got pulled over for the first time in my life. I was driving home from the grocery store, kind of zoning out, and missed the school zone sign. I saw a cop parked on the shoulder at kind of the last minute, slowed down instinctually, and then came upon what I thought was the first school zone sign, so I slowed down to 30. Then I saw that bastard's lights come on.

So I pull over, he comes up and begins lecturing me like a total condescending jackass. The conversation went something like this:

Douche: "You know you're in a school zone, right? And you live around here, so you drive here a lot, right?"

Me: "Yeah, I'm sorry, I was singing along with my music and kind of zoned out."

Douche: "And using your cellphone, right?" (interesting...my cellphone was on my coffee table at home)

Me: "What? No, I really wasn't."

Douche: "Oh, really? It sure looked like you were."

Me: "No, I really wasn't, my cell phone is at home. I never use my phone while I drive." (This is true. I know I don't have the multi-tasking skills, so I don't do it.)

Douche: "Oh, well, what? Do you have an iPod there? I know you had something in your hand" (I did indeed have an ipod, which was on the passenger seat, under my purse, where it had been the entire time I was driving)

Me: "No, I really didn't have anything in my hand, honestly."

He then started hassling me, by making me read aloud the thing on your license about changing your address within 10 days, about how I haven't changed my address through the DMV (my fucking license expires on April 17, what's the point of changing it now?), and then was gleeful when my insurance card was the old one, and made me read the date out loud to him and then asked me what today's date is (we have the new one at home).

I mean, I was apologetic, I wasn't sassing him, I was going 41 mph (1 mile over the speed limit 30 feet before where he was parked) in a 30 mph school zone because I didn't see the sign, which I admitted to the cop was my bad. I was flustered because I don't want a fucking ticket. So why did he need to be such a fucking asshole? I have known a few cops in my life who I really like, (one of my friends is a cop-HI JODI!) but most cops are such total dicks.

He "did me a favor" (his words) by charging me with driving while using a cellphone instead of a moving violation, which, as far as I can tell is to my benefit. I won't get any points on my license (whatever that means). But I got the feeling it was more because he was convinced that I had been using some sort of electronic device. I'm like, if you really want to do me a favor, don't give me a ticket.