crisis

I'm grappling with my age a lot these days. It's been going on for about a year and a half, actually. Quarter-life crisis, perhaps? I just can't believe that in less than 6 months, I'll be 25. I know, I know, 25 isn't old when you're 50. But in my head, I'm still 8, so 25 seems old.

Sunday night I had Tara and Eve over for dinner, and I was telling Eve some stories of my wilder days. I never did anything too crazy, but I did find myself in some bizarre situations. I feel like I've aged much more than 2 or 3 years in the past 2 or 3 years. I grew up against my will.

It's good, I've got my shit together. It feels good to have a little road-map of your life for the next few years. Wedding, school, baby (eek!). But I can't help but feel like I'm a kid playing dress-up, and somebody is going to figure out that I'm not old enough to be on this road.

Being a grown up sucks. There are all kinds of worries: what's my credit score? Gee, my parents are starting to get old. Will I have one of those ADHD kids? I miss the days of, "If I leave the bar now, I will get 6 hours of sleep for work tomorrow. Will I be sober by then?"

The thing that sparked this current existential crisis is an invitation to a teacher party. Some teachers at the school Dan is long-term subbing at are throwing a party. I CAN'T BE OLD ENOUGH TO PARTY WITH TEACHERS. Teachers are old and I am young. But according to Dan, one girl is my very same age! Gah!

There's a less for all of y'all in this blog post: late night coffee consumption=existential crisis.